Real Housewives Of New Jersey,The Giudice/Gorga Annual Christmas Card Feud

For years, Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga have been playing tug of war and fucking with some photographer’s emotions that they each use to compete for the invisible contest that only takes place in their head to be the the best Christmas Card Whore. “They both act like they love her [Linda] so much… meanwhile, neither one of them have used her the past few years. Teresa did use her last year for Christmas pics.”

On Teresa’s  website she mentions that she  found Portrait Artistry by Linda Marie on her own when she was “driving past her studio” and hired her to photograph Gia’s birth announcement.

According to the recent chisme from Reality Tea this is the same reason why Antonia was wearing the same coat Gia was wearing on a card from a while back.“They both used the SAME photographer for their Christmas cards this year,”

Meanwhile Melissa  says “I’ve been going to her since Antonia was born! She also did the beautiful family picture you saw us do on season 3 with Joe [Gorga]‘s family!”

Tree and Mel always wait until the last minute to see how they can out tacky each other with the Christmas Card competition. “They always hold out and wait until the last minute to mail their cards. As soon as Teresa sends hers out, a day or 2 later here come Melissa’s. This is the 4th year in a row Melissa has done this. Teresa stopped using Linda when Melissa started using her. Melissa tries to act like she always used her in her blog.”

But the insider states that Melissa only started going back to Linda recently because she needed to keep up with  Teresa “Melissa was going to Photos By Ginny for the past few years but, since she feared Teresa’s cards would be better then hers she went back to Linda. Melissa has been trying to keep up with Teresa and copying her more and more,”

The hating between families has gotten so bad that even their parents avoid them like the plague and no one is spending Christmas together because of this.“Teresa’s father refuses to be in the same room as the 2 Joe’s. He is afraid of them fighting and can’t handle it in his health condition.”

Filed under: Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, TERESA GIUDICE, The Giudice/Gorga Yearly Christmas Card Feud, Yearly Christmas Card Feud, Real Housewives of New Jersey, The Giudice/Gorga Yearly Christmas Card Feud, Yearly Christmas Card Feud

Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Jacqueline Laurita Was Really A Stripper! Teresa's Husband Gets Indicted!

 

Teresa Giudice’s husband, Barney Devito was indicted yesterday for that little incident he had back in  2010, when he was using his brothers drivers licence and got caught.

Also another exciting report has surfaced about Jacqueline Laurita being a stripper. A little while ago there was some gossip that spilled that she was a stripper in Vegas, of course she denied these claims. According to In Touch she worked at some gutter-skank, rat-hole from 1992 to 1993 and was in violent relationships with her then boyfriend who I suspects must be Ashley’s dad:

In Touchcan now exclusively reveal the details of the shocking past that she’d prefer to keep a secret. “She was a stripper at a Las Vegas club called the Glitter Gulch,” reports a former friend who was very close to Jacqueline. “She worked there from 1992 to 1993. Like all strip clubs, it was an awful place.”

And another former pal from back in the day reports that she spent several years in a volatile romance – the low point seems to have been her 1996 arrest for battery of her then-boyfriend, who was also arrested on the same charge. “She slapped him in the face and punched him in the groin,” the police report states.

 I wonder if Jacqueline will have her lawyer call In Touch Magazine a “skank.”

Thanks to my readers Lizzie and Nikki  for sending me the links to this juicy gossip!

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Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Teresa Giudice's Trial Canceled, Saved By Famewhoring Money

Teresa Giudice and her husband Barney Devito, decided it was better to pay off their debts, and withdraw the request to file bankruptcy rather than risk going to jail and have to share the used showers with violent, lonely, horny inmates. And it appears that it is Teresa who has gotten the family out of trouble by peddling her recipe/bash sister-in-law book, and also successfully making an ass of herself in both Housewives and Celebrity Apprentice. And thanks to Teresa’s Prostitution Fame Whoring talents she has now managed to have her trial for December 23rd canceled.

From NJ.com:

After the Star-Ledger revealed the about-face, their lawyer told People magazine in September that Teresa planned to drop her bankruptcy case as well because she is now earning enough money to pay her debts. But a consent order agreed to by Teresa and the Office of the U.S. Trustee (a division of the Justice Department) wasn’t signed until Wednesday. Teresa’s trial, set for Dec. 23, has been canceled.

According to the consent order, Teresa agrees to waive discharge of her debts, and acknowledges that she wishes to resolve Sywilok’s proceedings against her “without the need for further inquiry or litigation, and without her making any further admissions.”

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Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Kathy Walkile Is Not Spending Christmas With Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga Shares Her Recipes

 

The show is not even on, but the family feuds continue. Just like Melissa Gorga is refusing to spend Christmas with Teresa (for obvious reasons) Kathy Walkile is also refusing to spend the holidays with her niece Teresa. According to her latest Hollywood Life interview.

 “We’ll host Christmas Eve at our house and have our family and friends,”  Kathy told Hollywood Life “I haven’t spoken to them [Teresa and her other cousin Joe Gorga’s wife Melissa Gorga  yet, but I know that Teresa hosts Christmas  Eve herself — so I don’t know.”

Kathy states that  if Teresa does not show up, they won’t even miss her because she has plenty of family to replace her. “Usually we have a big open house for Christmas Eve,”  and adds. “You’re family just keeps getting bigger and bigger, so I don’t think there will be a shortage of people — friends and family.”

She says since everyone is running around busy she doesn’t know what Teresa’s schedule will be, why with all the cooking books and Trump show appearances she may not have time to stop by and host the Christmas Family Fight 2011 “You know, everybody gets busy,” an adds. “It’s a busy time of the year for everybody.”

And since none of them are talking to Teresa she is not sure how this will work out . “It’s yet to be determined,” Melissa  also put her 2cents in and told HollywoodLife.com at the Reeve Foundation Magical Evening Gala at NYC’s Cipriani Wall Street on Nov. 30. “Sometimes when something stresses you out and when you have to think to hard about something, sometimes it’s better to stay away for a little while.”

 Joe Gorga says he is tired of the bitch-drama. “There’s certain things you just can’t forgive and forget,” he says “It’s a holiday. You want to enjoy it. You want to be happy. You don’t want to be aggravated. Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I want to be happy.”

If he doesn’t want the drama maybe he should start by buying Melissa a muzzle, since she is the one that’s been busy lately bashing on Tree.

Also Melissa may be trying her hand at cookbooks, since she has to compete with Teresa on everything that other bitch does. She shared a “family recipe” with People to show off that she too can cook.

 

From People:

I love cooking in the kitchen with my family, with everyone picking at the food before it makes it to the table,” the Voli vodka ambassador tells PEOPLE.

As for her signature dish, she says it’s “a traditional family recipe” best sipped with a pomegranate Voli martini, which she calls “light, refreshing, sweet and sour.”

She also says Teresa’s been a big help and teacher in the kitchen. “I am a good cook, but nothing compares to my sister,” Gorga says. “She is a pro. She sometimes teaches me her secret recipes.”

Want to feast like a Housewife? Not only is Gorga providing her favorite holiday recipe, but she’s also offering instructions for how to make her favorite drink while cooking.

Linguine alla Vongole

1 lb. linguine
¼ cup water
6 garlic cloves, crushed
6 red dried chili peppers, less or more according to how spicy you like it
½ cup extra virgin olive oil
½ cup white wine
2 tbsp. chopped, fresh leaf parsley
3 lbs. little neck hard shell clams
pinch of salt

Clean the clams well and place them in a large pot, covering them with water and placing the lid on pot while heating at medium high until clams burst open.

Remove the clams as they open and pit them into a separate bowl. Clams that don’t open should be trashed.

Scrape the clams and the juices from the shells and put them in a separate bowl.

Rinse the clams again to avoid their being sandy. Pour all of the liquid from the pot into the bowl with the juices and pass all the remaining liquids through a strainer.

To Serve

In a large sauce pan, heat the oil over medium heat and cook the garlic until it is golden brown.

Then add the parsley, chili peppers, a pinch of salt and white wine, letting them all cook together for about three minutes. Add in a little more than half of the clam juices. The liquid should reduce by ½, then stir in the remaining juices and clams and let them cook for another two minutes.

Bring a large pot of water to boil with a pinch of salt. Keeping the pasta a little firm, drain it and return it back into the pot.

Add the clam sauce and stir very gently. Top it off with a little parsley, and voila! (Serves 6)

Voli Pom Martini

1½ oz. Voli Lyte (works with Voli lemon, too)
2 oz. pomegranate juice
¼ oz. lemon juice

In a mixing tin, add ice, Voli Lyte, pomegranate juice, lemon juice and shake.

Strain into martini glass, and add an orange twist for garnish.

 

So there you go, let me know if any of you try these recipes.

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Rumors Swirl About Bravo Keeping Teresa Giudice The Asshole Of The Show, Melissa Gorga Makes Her Best Impression Of Gretchen Rossi

 

Melissa Gorga is getting a lot of  “display” this month and I hope she is enjoying it because according to All AboutTRHH she always wanted the fame and exposure that Teresa got and now her dream came true, so true, it is now a nightmare for Mel since the things that are being “displayed” are NOT the things she wants us to know about her.

An “insider” revealed that Melissa was so jealous of Teresa’s rise to fame that for THREE FUCKING YEARS this famewhoring cow stalked and harrassed Bravo begging them to throw her in the RHONJ circus of crazy and Bravo kept telling her to fuck off because she was a boring skank. 

Melissa didn’t give up and she persisted on her mission to get on that trash show no matter what, even if that meant she had to make deals with the devil and that’s exactly what she did when she contacted Danielle Staub aka Joker Face and proceeded to feed her information about Teresa and the Manzo’s , this way she can show Bravo she is a low brow shit stirrer worthy to be on Housewives. Even Joker Face didn’t want this bitch and her husband on the show, although Melissa’s plan was to be besties with Joker Face on camera in order to piss off Teresa and completely destroy what little peace they had in that chaotic family.

And supposedly this coming season Bravo is keeping Teresa as permanent asshole of the show because it seems that Melissa has talked through both sides of her mouth and manipulated not only Teresa’s old friends but also Bravo’s producers to have them on her side so that way they can monkey stomp on Tree.

From All AboutTRHH:

Melissa spent the past three years haunting Bravo and Danielle, trash-talking all of the Housewives but then kissing ass once they got on, then being mad at Teresa for being upset with them after all of that. Imagine your SIL, someone you have to see for the rest of your life, doing this for you – and your jealous and brainwashed friends sticking up for them. NEWSFLASH CAROLINE – Melissa was the one who told Danielle all about your stomach surgery, made the ‘rumors’ of Albert cheating at the Brownstone, and said ‘my daughter would never do that’ about Ashley. Wake the *beep* up.”

The truth will come out. Melissa tried to be on the show from the very beginning. They did not want her because she was boring. So, she stomped her feet and stalked Danielle Staub to the point where even Danielle (of all people) refused to bring her onto the show. Melissa AND Joe wanted to come on to surprise Teresa and be on-camera friends with Danielle. I wish that did happen because maybe Caroline and Jacqueline would not be believing all of Melissa’s lies like you will see in season four. She knows how to lie and get what she wants, but the truth will come out. Her stalking Danielle is what finally got her on the show. A lot was also said at season 2′s reunion (with Melissa’s name) that was completely removed because at the time, no one even knew who she was.”

 

Also click here for a lovely photo of Mel Ala Gretchen Rossi “on display” on the toilet.

 

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Victoria Gotti And Teresa Giudice Come To Table Flipping Blows

 

Although supposedly they are not allowed to give away who is on the show or names etc. Victoria Gotti  went on the Wendy William’s Show and gave enough clear hints about a blow up that took place between her and fellow New Jerseysian Teresa Giudice during a taping of The Apprentice. Victoria says that shit got so ugly she thought there was going to be some table flipping and weave pulling about to go down. Supposedly things were worst than when NeNe went off on Star Jones and Latoya Jackson when filming the same show.

She told Wendy Williams she thought her and Teresa were friends until shit got ugly, “In my mind we were too. But then there comes a scene … when my mind gets completely blown … So you’re going to see this on TV, it’s a quite a blow-up … I thought it was gonna get a little physical there. Nene and Starr, I mean, that was like nothin’.’”

Also there is some speculation that Teresa was “fired” from The Apprentice already. (More on that later.) Maybe the  Trumpster didn’t like the way she was trying to club bitches on the head caveman style.

 

Isn’t it stupid that they are supposed to keep hush, hush who is on the show when that shit was announced a couple of months ago already?
 

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Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Melissa Gorga's Dirty Laundry On Display, On Display!

 

On display, on display, everyone is waiting for more gossip to roooll,  everyone is waiting for her shit to faaall, and it just keeps on happening. And we just keep on laughing. The blogs just keep on clowing because it’s not us that are on displaay, looking like a fool on displaay, it’s some other bitch on displaay who thinks she looks good on displaay, and it’s really is not that waay. I can go on fucking up these lyrics all daaay.

I know that was messed up, but I couldn’t help myself it was just too easy. HA HA HA!!!

Anyway, before I went into some baked-spewage about Melissa’s catchy tune. I found this little piece of gossip about this PR gay-dude named Will Love posted on All About THR, the same site that provided the interview with Melissa Gorga’s allegedly old pimp strip-club boss Angelo Vrohidis.

According to Will, he says he met and dealt with Melissa Gorga, he describes her as some sort of an evil snake with a malicious agenda to destroy Teresa Giudice and apparently also Will. He also spills out some shit about one of Melissa’s brothers-in-law possibly being closet gay or some shit. I wonder if the brother-in-law he meant was Lysa’s husband, the same Joe that confronted Barney Devito about owing him a thousand dollars?

Will states that Melissa is a stuck-up, ungrateful bitch who treated Will like a piece of trash that wasn’t worth to be at the bottom of “Lady Gorga’s” stilettos, even though he kindly promoted her fame-whoring ass to the masses. He also defends Teresa as someone who was fucked over and bullied by Melissa and her evil sisters, but kind enough to take a picture with him for the equality campaign. And also there was soooo much behind the scenes epic-drama that went on with that whole Posche Fashion Show.

 

 

 

Check this shit out:

I had first met both Robyn and Melissa when I covered the 2010 POSCHE Fashion Show. After expressing interest of meeting the furtive confidant of Danielle Staub, colleagues pushed me smack in the middle of Melissa’s first photo-op. Judging by facial expressions directed at me afterwards, I do not believe Melissa was too happy. This was evident when I approached her after the fashion show: Melissa very blatantly rolled her eyes when I introduced myself. Despite her uncouth initial impression, I featured a side-by-side cover cameo of Melissa and Teresa Giudice on the cover of Out In Jersey’s December-January issue. When I messaged Melissa regarding her first cover appearance, after reading that the appearance was not a full cover, I never received a response. I guess “Lady Gorga,” as her immediate circle describes her, did not feel the exposure was important enough to warrant a reply or thank you. After all, at the time Melissa was confident that she would be signed to Universal Records – even before her meeting with the record tycoon earlier this year.

I attended a fashion gathering for one of Robyn’s clients at a lounge in Manhattan. It was my first time seeing both Melissa and Kathy since the POSCHE event. Kathy immediately greeted me with compliments on my attire during conversation, while a startled Melissa greeted me with a half-assed ”hi.” The fact that I was confident I recognized the husband of Melissa’s sister from a local North Jersey gay bar less than a week prior [his distressed facial expression when he saw me did not help] made the evening additionally awkward. Nonetheless, leave it to Kim D to bring us all together to socialize – on the runway.

After Kim D simply expressed her loyalty and friendship to Teresa on multiple occasions, Melissa became furious with Kim. The fact that Kim simultaneously parted ways with Robyn did not help matters either. In retaliation for Kim being a free thinker, Robyn and Melissa began a well thought out smear campaign. I witnessed, at least during half-a-dozen events, Robyn and her friends speak of Kim D as a “coke addict,” “drug user,” and claimed Kim would be out of business within six months. Robyn, who I previously witnessed express to Kim how her only [now former] full-time employee “is completely overpaid” and “should be grateful to have you as a boss” – was saying the opposite to the employee. Concurrently, Robyn was expressing to the employee that they should “open up a separate boutique” and was eventually triumphant at having the employee parrot the same damaging sentiments about Kim at various events and to multiple customers while still employed at POSCHE. Robyn and Melissa even went as far as to contact BRAVO weekly in hopes of persuading them to film the insignificant Fashion & Beauty Week as opposed to the annual POSCHE Fashion Show. This was due to the fact that Robyn was successful in blacklisting Kim D and Teresa Giudice from the supposed “charity” fashion event [FWB]. Therefore, if FWB were filmed over POSCHE, it would appear as though Kim and Teresa “were not wanted at an “esteemed” fashion event.”

I was honestly hurt by all of the malicious behavior, especially being as I was the professional who was used by women who – up until this day – I never spoke negatively of. I was ready to speak with Robyn about the many aforementioned issues at the 2011 POSCHE Fashion Show – except she was nowhere to be found. Melissa, however, was present – who [just like when we first met] rolled her eyes the minute she saw me.Despite the fact that all six housewives (including Kim D) were supposed to take a New Jersey Equality (NJEQ) photo – none of the women did. I even tweeted Jacqueline, as well as some of the other girls regarding the photo the following day, only to be ignored. For women who were so appalled by Joe G’s “homophobic” and “uneducated” remarks, one would think they would have responded to my inquiry. I guess after Melissa threw her hysterical fit [which led to a fan running into the NJEQ backdrop], it was much more important for Caroline to parrot that “this was all a set up” ten times over outside of Son Cubano. Kim and Teresa, who was scrutinized by Mr. Cohen during the RHONJ reunion, were the only housewives who have taken a photo for the equality campaign. The following day, after tweeting back and forth with Kim, Teresa, and Penny [who I wish I could elaborate more on but I am legally unable to] I received various hate tweets from an anonymous account. Among other sentiments, this individual wanted to make it clear that I was apparently a “whore.” After tracing the IP address, the Montville residence which showed up as sending the tweets was none other than that of Melissa and Joe Gorga. I found this to be ironic, especially since Melissa, and the friends of ten years she managed to lure away from Teresa, were implying [that same day] that Teresa was behind the apparent “anonymous eggs” they were receiving. Cover up much?

Click here to read the complete long ass post.

 

 

So what do you bitches think? Is this dude for real or is he just one of Teresa’s minions?

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Melissa Gorga Runs Her Mouth About Sister-In-Law Teresa Giudice And Is Paranoid To Lose Husband In Reality TV Battle Field

The Melissa/Teresa feud is something that is never going to end. EVER! Melissa Gorga has been very busy lately, bad mouthing sister-in-law Teresa Giudice to every person, interviewer or wino on the street that will listen to her psycho-ramblings.

Melissa told Mediabistro.com how disappointed she was that Bravo started shooting the next season of the circus of crazy , while the reunion was going on:

“We had just had a huge blow up the night before, and that was what was on everyone’s mind. It was so hard not to say anything. That’s why Jacqueline wasn’t there,”

She also says that Bravo fucked up and made them all confused:

“It was very confusing for us, and we were constantly trying not to say things about things that hadn’t aired yet. Bravo is so sorry they shot them back to back. I don’t think they are ever going to do that again.”

Yeah, I doubt they regret that. Melissa also insist that Teresa tried to set her up so that her old stripper pimp would out her,  she also says that her husband Joe Gorga is “disgusted” with Teresa and her shenanigans and that all the kissing and making up at the end of last season was nothing but a bunch of bullshit.

Melissa is talking about Angelo Vrohidis who used to allegedly pimp her out at the strip club she supposedly worked at. I bet bitch is pissed he outed her and is looking for any excuse to blame Teresa who supposedly had nothing to do with setting Mel up, but who knows with those bitches they kiss each other while they twist the knife.

Melissa also spewed out to Hollywood Life how she is worried her marriage will end up getting destroyed because of the Reality TV Bitch Demon she is a part of now:

“This year, to be honest with you, I feel like there is a lot of stress from the show and being in the public eye. All I want from my husband is to just … I just want to make sure we keep this bond that him and I have.

“… That to me is the most important thing because we had an amazing life before we entered this show. And we still do and I don’t want to let anything break it. I know this business can break you sometimes.”

 Did she just NOW realized the implications of being on a reality low-brow TV show?  Is Melissa just saying she is worried? Or is this bitch hinting that there is trouble at the Gorga mansion? What do you guys think?

 

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Real Housewives Of New Jersey, The Battle Of The Foreheads Reunion Parts 1 & 2

 

Ok I know this recap is hella late, but I was called to do some Jane Bond Mission Impossible dirty work and was not around to rag on these ho’s ( At one point I cound’t reach the keyboard). Ok so here it is. Pretend I posted this earlier. Real Housewives Of New Jersey Reunion parts 1 & 2.

I hate to admit it, but Joker Face was right when she said those bitches don’t need her crazy crusty ass to bring on the drama because that shit was already there.

The first thing  Miss Andy brings up is the Greek tragedy these people’s lives have turned into and the missing Jacqueline who decided to hide under her bed with her eyes closed and her fingers in her ears until the Bravo van left her driveway.  Caroline blames Jacqueline’s absence on Teresa  because of the incident that took place at the Posche 2011 Fashion Showdown the previous night which Teresa caused, and because of all this Jacqueline is not attending and also because she doesn’t want to “look” at Teresa’s hair line. Teresa tells Caroline to not speak for that bitch and that if she started shit she should finish it. Caroline has her Godmother gloves on and Teresa says “bring it on baby!” she meant bitch.

Teresa says that she’s been laughing all the way to the bank with the money she was paid for the ruined 10-year relationshit with Jacqueline that unfolded on TV.Caroline says she is glad Teresa is laughing because Jacqueline is crying (since Jacqueline didn’t take advantage of jumping on the  hawking shit on TV train while the  Teresa relationshit was going to shit.) Teresa says she got her crying out of the way early and says Caroline is the captain of this bitch platoon that attacked her.

The cook/insult book gets brought up, and Teresa says something so stupid so ridiculous that makes her look like the biggest fool so far to hit these train-wreckage reunion shows. After Teresa gets called out on being a demented bitch, (who took an entire page of her book plus wasted energy on ragging on Melissa about being a copycat when instead she could of used that page for another recipe) Teresa tries to imply that she was not speaking about Melissa when she insulted her because she didn’t mention Melisa’s name. What kind of morons does she think everyone is? Andy was rolling up his eyes at this bitches moronic response. And I was embarrassed for her that’s how bad it was.

Caroline and Teresa keep being snippy at each other and Miss Andy feels this is a perfect time to bring up Teresa’s comment that Caroline is only 1/16th Italian. Teresa tries to downplay it like it’s no big deal and says if someone said the same thing to her she would just laugh it off, then she insults Caroline when she tells her in Italian I’M 100% ITALIAN! And it goes right over Caroline’s head because she doesn’t understand what Teresa just said.

Caroline expresses how very butt hurt she is that Teresa dared insult her baby’s ambitious desire to open up a car-wash strip joint. Teresa tries to say AGAIN that it was a joke “HA, HA!” But that she wouldn’t want her daughters to work in that puterio. Caroline then decides she will front Christopher the money to open up the strip/car-wash joint and recruit the Giudice girls when they each turn 18, but before they will each prick their finger in a spinning wheel as revenge. BUA HA HA!!

Teresa tries to say that if she didn’t love to insult Caroline she wouldn’t of put a lovely picture of her in her Fabulicious book. Caroline then says she wants Tree to take the picture of her out in all of the cookbooks, even the ones people bought. Meaning Teresa will have to somehow break into people’s houses Ninja style at night and rip the picture out. But then, she tells Teresa to leave the shitty comments to show the world who the asshole is.

Godmother Caroline is also pissed off that Teresa “poisoned” her opinions about Kathy and Melissa causing Caroline to treat them like shit. Teresa reminds Caroline she is her own damn person and Tree can’t influence Caroline to treat anyone like shit. Caroline brings up an example about how Teresa would tell her to never compliment that bitch Melissa and tell her she is pretty because she may believe it.

 Okay so after this, the whole incident of the last reunion when Teresa got up yelling in Joker Face’s mug and pushed Miss Andy like a rag-doll with her orangutan strength because Joker Face brought up Teresa’s nephew, gets revisited. Andy asks Melissa why Joker Face would bring up her son to instigate a bitch slap fest. Melissa has this OH SHIT BUSTED! look on her face because YOU KNOW she was bad mouthing Teresa to Satan on Facebook last time these bitches had a reunion.

Teresa expresses her disgust with her family joining the show, but specially Melissa who brings up how Teresa threatened her life right after Melissa got casted in the same circus as Teresa. 

More denial comes out of Teresa’s mouth this time though, she tries to say she was trying to protect Melissa’s big ass forehead and insist that since she was named the fore-headless wonder Melissa may be named the “horse forehead” bitch. Melissa assures everyone that she doesn’t have any self-esteem issues resulting from her gigantic forehead. Caroline gets all Godmother drama on Teresa and tells her she “crucified these people” and points at Kathy and Mel. I think Melissa should just share some of that “horse forehead” with Teresa and call it a night.

Clips from The Christening from Hell get played and we get to see Psycho Joey in his Tiara crying for daddy after he damn near flipped the table when he called Teresa “gawbage.” Teresa gets into it with Melissa over not inviting Psycho Joey to their House Skanks Premiere party. Teresa insists she didn’t invite Mel or Joey because she knew Mel didn’t want to go (because Teresa reads minds.)

 Then, Teresa gives a lesson on “what a good wife does” and says Mel is NOT a good wife for not calling Teresa to kiss her ass and beg her to invite Joey to the Premiere party.  Kathy points out to Teresa that her comment is offensive, but she is too stupid to know that. Everyone has a lame excuse for their behavior. Teresa says her dad doesn’t know Psycho Joey called her “gawbage” or else he will flip a table also.

Miss Andy asks Melissa why the fuck they were mad that Tree and Barney Devito when they were on the dance floor dancing with their baby, and of course that bitch stutters and makes a lame ass excuse. Oh well, I bet she is not even sure how it all got out of control that particular night anyway, since I bet it was all a combination of alcohol, asshole hair trigger-tempers and Bravo producers whispering in their ears and WALAH! They managed to ruin little Gino (or Joey’s?) Christening. FOREVER!

Teresa says that the only reason Psycho Midget Joey threw a fit the night of the Christening is because he believes she kept him off the show. Melissa asks “And you think a  man  cries like a baby  to his daddy on national TV because his sister kept him off the show?” I  can tell Teresa was thinking YEAH!

Miss Andy reads a viewer email to Melissa who calls out Psycho Joey for starting the Christening Brawl from hell after he name called Teresa and got all apeshit on her ass almost flipping the table. Melissa surprisingly says she doesn’t hold Teresa responsible for the shit flinging, and admits Psycho got it to the next level.

Kathy finds out she is also part Gorga and may have temper problems and Melissa gets asked if her sister was punched in the face by Mama Giudice and Teresa says she punched that bitch because she pulled her hair.

 

Teresa denies that Gia watched the Christening episode and tries to play dumb, but then Mama Manzo bustes her. Why doesn’t she just admit she let Gia watch the episode? What’s the big deal “she lived it” didn’t she?

Caroline says that Psycho Joey put on his tiara and sequin, then went all drama, held her hand and told her he felt terrible that he called his sister “gawbage.” Hmm? Why did he say this to Caroline? Did he apologize to Teresa? Maybe he should of saved the theatrics for that, no?

Caroline gets all crazy and yells that Teresa told her she didn’t want to make up with her “asshole” brother. Melissa drops her jaw all wide like she is about to gasp I guess when you call someone an “asshole” you are really threatening their life in this family. Wow! I must threaten my brother’s life quite a bit then. I just called him an asshole today as a matter of fact.

Teresa sits there trying to deny it, but her actions give it away. Mel also jumps in and sticks up for Caroline. It was a gang-bang.

Andy asks the bitches to please teach him how to speak New Joysey Slang. Lesson number one. “Youse” means “You guys” or “Ya’ all” meaning you are referring to a group of people. Andy revisits “ingrediencess” and then calls Melissa a “wench” Melissa admits she is a wench.

Andy then puts Melissa “On Display” and asks her the 110 million dollar question and asks her if she is half black. Why? Because she looks like the triplet of Tia and Tamera Mowry. The question should not be is Melissa Gorga half black the question should really be, are Tia and Tamera half Italian?

Teresa says she is supportive of Melissa’s one hit wonder music career and then calls her a goldigger.  We also found out Psycho Joe prints money in that big basement where he keeps the bodies of the guys that fucked him over.

Melissa kept dropping her mouth wide open gasping like an innocent little princess and Teresa said “Bring it on Bitches! Bring it on!”

Then Teresa calls Melissa the Devil because she is the one wearing red. Devils also wear blue.

 

Teresa gets called out for her Jewish friend comment. Then she apologizes for saying that, and insist it wasn’t meant as a racist remark since she will be trying to marry Gia off to a Jewish husband in the near future.

Andy asks Teresa how she feels about being the one that brings home the bacon while Barney Devito brings home tips from his minimum wage pizza parlor job. Teresa says it feels great and she is happy. I don’t hear them say “happy wife, hapy life” anymore since they almost went to jail for bankruptcy fraud and they had to change the Giudice slogan to “happy wife, bankruptcy for life”. Teresa also defends the fact she bought her children a shitload of toys for Christmas including a 200 dollar motorized toy car. But it was Jesus’s birthday!

Teresa also admits she was confused when the almost auction went on at her house where she believed she had Picasso paintings worth 50 thousand dollars!

Like this Picasso painting here Teresa owns, she paid fifty thousand dollars for it. She knows it is a fine Picasso painting because the guy at the furniture store told her it was an original Picasso (Damn! I gotta open me a furniture store full of tacky Tijuana shit near these fools!)

WHAT A MORON!!

We also found out Barney Devito is the “go-to-guy for business advice.” Then, Tree adamantly denies her husband being a shady character full of shadiness.

This whole time Caroline has been making “Quizzical” faces at Teresa. Caroline and Teresa get into it and Caroline feels she is “getting dumber as the minutes go by.” Because she is in a “whirlwind of stupid.” Teresa is contagious.

 

Part 2 of the Reunion.

Andy brings up to Melissa that he has never seen anyone as horny as Melissa’s husband and asks her how she keeps him happy. Melissa admits she has to give him booty once a day to keep him happy. But, twice would be better.  What she doesn’t know is that he is getting it 5 times a day when he goes out in this getup:

 How do you think he makes extra money to keeps Mel in Rolexes and living in a mansion?

The problem is Joe is REALLY good at his moonlighting job that he enjoys it. QUITE A BIT. And yes, Jacqueline gave him that outfit because she didn’t want it after Joe’s sweaty balls were in it, so she told him he could have it.

 After that, we have a contest over who has more sex between Teresa and Melissa. I would say about equal since Psycho Joe gets action from his Craiglist hookups while Barney Devito gets extra action from every toothless ho’ he has on the side.

Next they show everyone having sex.  Andy asks Melissa if it bothers her that Psycho Joe likes wearing women’s clothes too much. But, as I explained above he is doing it to keep this woman living in luxury so it doesn’t bother Melissa at all plus she says he’s been doing this a looong time. Even Teresa admits when they were little Psycho Drag Joey always ran around dressed up like a girl. What she doesn’t want to admit is that Joe DID try on her clothes when the two were growing up. (Notice how Kathy and Melissa laugh nervously when Teresa denies that Joey whore her clothes because the bitches know the truth.) Also Teresa’s pretty dresses and shoes always would come up missing and end up in Psycho Joey’s closet and those missing clothes are in that closet until this day.

 Miss Andy brings up Melissa’s past about “slamming the lady pond” and Melissa denies it by saying that her girlfriend was a lesbian, but she wasn’t. I guess she also left some of her clothes in that same closet Psycho Joe hid his sister’s stolen loot.

Teresa denies Barney Devito is a cheater and Caroline knows the bitch is just covering up for her man (the same way she would do) Miss Andy wanted to throw a log in that fire because it was getting too mellow, so he ask Teresa who she believes  leaked the info about Barney Devito’s cheating ways to the gossip blogs and of course Teresa falls Andy’s carefully planned input and insinuates it was Jacqueline who leaked out this info and that this why she is not here. Meanwhile Godmother Caroline is looking “Quizzical” again.

  Miss Andy asks Caroline if Johnny and Christopher are still friends even thought the Manzo’s kicked Kim G out of someone else’s party. Caroline insist that the boys are still in good terms and that Johnny G knows his mom is nuts so it doesn’t make any difference. Teresa brings up that the reason she didn’t like Kim G was because of Caroline’s influence (kind of like the same shit Caroline said earlier about not liking Kathy and Mel because of Teresa’s input.)

Caroline gets asks why she calls her daughter fat when she reminds her she has eight pounds of sausage in a five pound bag. Caroline says she needs to let her daughter know how it is or else who will?  Caroline also gets asked why her husband lied on his application when he had that city job and she tries to stumble around a lame answer. Bottom line is the so called Brownstone apartment wasn’t his permanent residence unless she kicked him out of the house and he lives at the Brownstoner full time.

When Dina and Caroline’s fractured relationship gets brought up Caroline immediately blames Teresa for the damage.

Caroline brings up that the fame has gotten to Teresa. She also admits she talks about that bitch all the time because she doesn’t like her. Tree turns up the sassy and says I’M AS REAL AS THEY COME AND YOU KNOW IT. Mel attacks back and tells Teresa if she keeps spitting that bullshit out it may come true. I guess she was giving Teresa her very own advice which by the way Melissa practices it. Daily. Caroline also says that her feet are planted on the ground and that she chooses to be a mother to her children instead of being on the tabloids. Then she ran to the tabloid crying that her grown children didn’t sign up for this.

Teresa starts freaking out yelling WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!!??!! NO WONDER WHY DINA DOESN’T WANNA SPEAK TO YOU!! Dina responded to that on her blog and said she wasn’t taking sides with those crazy bitches.

Caroline responded:

YOU’RE FULL OF SHIT AND YOUR WASTING THIS TAPE

Well too late for that!

Teresa repeats YOU’RE FULL OF SHIT and they go back and forth like 6th graders. Caroline also reveals that because of TERESA Dina is also not speaking to everyone in her house including her children, Jacqueline and her brother Chris.  All because Dina took Teresa’s side, I don’t know maybe Dina is Teresa’s secret lesbian lover too maybe that’s why.

They briefly mentioned that Ashley is an Assholey and Kathy explains it perfectly when she mentioned that “Ashley just hasn’t reached her AH, HA moment” yet. I agree.

Kathy finds out she may have Ramonitis of the eyes after Andy diagnoses her.

See twins separated at birth.

Andy decided it was time to question Kathy’s abilities to successfully throw “all night hookah and cannoli parties.”

Kathy admits that by smoking a little munchy tobacky in her hookah

  

Leads her to genious moments of delicious munchies.

.

  

Teresa just wishes she could have some of the “ingrediencess” in that magical hookah, that make Kathy cook this awesome.

I

  

Ritchie’s job is to keep New Joysey flushed with the good shit.

And speaking about easy going fun stuff, Kathy talks about her daughter Victoria (whose boyfriend is suffering from cracked-nuts courtesy of Ritchie) Kathy says she is grateful her daughter survived a brain tumor. Teresa interrupts to make it about herself and about how Mother Teresa being at the hospital for Victoria “every day” made her realize she doesn’t sweat the small things.

  

This is the other bitches reactions:

  

WTF??!!

Right after Teresa says she doesn’t trip on small shit Ritchie gets brought up and  Teresa says it’s all Ritchie’s fault she doesn’t get invited to Kathy’s hookah parties and all night muchie benders.

Teresa says that because Ritchie is an asshole to her she “dessence” herself from him and Andy ask her what the fuck she is saying? Bitch you don’t know what you’re saying! Tree is pissed that Barney Devito and Ritchie would gang up on her.

Following that little pile up the incident with Audriana gets brought up. Teresa says her child was not unattended and she doesn’t want Kathy calling her a bad parent.  Caroline tries to explain to Teresa that she should be grateful her cousin took Audriana out of danger .

 

Finally Teresa admits she was overreacting, but it took her all season to come to this conclusion.

The Christmas fight gets brought up and Teresa says she wanted her brother and sister-in-law to stay with her all night NOT just three hours. Then she says the other bitches are all bad people.

And Caroline realizes that they are all fucking crazy. Including her.

Big ole’ yelling match among all the bitches followed , but it was specially all of them jumping on Teresa.

Melissa brought up Barney Devito’s name calling her “raccoon face” Teresa immediately jumps in and says,

 “HE WAS TALKING ABOUT KATHY!”

  

Watchoo Talkin’ Bout, Willis!?

  

SOOO THAT’S SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT BETTER???

  

CONGRATULATIONS TERESA YOU’RE A FUCKING MORON!!

After Teresa made an ass of herself Andy asks her why can’t she shut her trap and listen for a minute. Of course it goes into Teresa’s one ear and out the other.

  

After another blowup we find what place everyone is in.

Teresa gets called out on blaming Melissa for her family being broken up Melissa denies it and I agree with Carolines statement earlier that they are all fucking crazy.

  

Here’s Kathy’s WTF?? Reaction.

 

After Tree and Mel get into an argument over what Melissa would gain over breaking up the family, Melissa realizes that you can’t argue with crazy. You just can’t.

I give up.

Teresa and Teresa Jr get compared and Caroline resolves the problem these two bitches have in one shot.

They’re the same person.

Tree and Mel argue back and forth on who is the queen of tacky.

  

The older bitches realizes these younger ho’s are fighting over nothing since in Northen New Joysey everyone is tackyliceous since they “all have the same bedspread and same robes”

After this Andy brings up Teresa’s obsession with being in control of her brother and she is reminded it is illegal to marry your brother.

Tree and Mel continue their competition on whose family is more Tacky Italian. Because with Teresa it always boils down to that. They proceed their back and forth arguing over the title of Queen of the Tacky.

Andy asks Teresa if she regrets saying anything bad about Melissa on the show and NOT surprisingly she turns it around and makes it about Melissa regreting saying something bad about her on the show. Andy has to rephrase that again. Melissa reads off a list of things that Teresa should regret and Teresa mumbles “the poison”. That’s it. Same question for Melissa and she said she regreted something lame to do with them paying their bills.

The feud of the “Joes” gets mentioned and we all find out it goes way back before they all joined the 3 ring circus.  Teresa is quoted saying she blames her husband and her brother because:

 

 “they’re like girls.”

 

 

No it’s more like:

Andy calls out Teresa’s husband for using the “F” word and Melissa tries to say her husband doesn’t use that word. Somehow I’m siding with Tree on that one because I don’t believe Melissa.

 

Andy asks Caroline her opinion on Barney Devito’s favorite gay slur to use , but since in these families everyone uses that word even Caroline sticks up for Barney Devito and just says that his ass doesn’t mean it with maliciousness he  is just ignorant and grew up under a rock.

 

Teresa explains it best.

And that is also the reason why he is a wreckless drunk who chips his teeth and yells at his wife while calling his other relatives “white trash”.

Gia’s sad song gets brought up and Caroline calls it a “disgrace”.In the end nothing gets resolved the only thing left to do is for all these bitches to go scratch their ass.

Filed under: Barney Devito, CAROLINE MANZO, kathy wakile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, TERESA GIUDICE, Barney Devito, CAROLINE MANZO, gossip, jacqueline laurita, Joe Giudice, kathy walkile, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, recaps, TERESA GIUDICE

Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Teresa Giudice's Children In Danger Of Getting Taken Away

 

Teresa Giudice’s husband Barney Devito psychobabble, drunken outburst did not earn him father of the year like he was expecting (just like Teresa shitting all over people in her award winning book dind’t earn her the prom queen popular status she was expecting.)

According to the National Enquirer people close to the Giudice’s are worried that a “tragedy” is inevitable because of  Barney Devito’s drunkenness and Teresa’s relentless desire to chase famewhoredom, coupled with her insistence on being completely oblivious to her children’s need for more emotional support (like when a hammered Barney Devito chipped his tooth and she pretty much dismissed Gia’s freak-out.) The insiders believe that if Barney Devito and Teresa don’t put a stop to their neanderthal ways, their children will end up in a foster home.

From The National Enquirer:

“I think Teresa and Joe will lose their kids if they don’t clean up their act,” a source told The ENQUIRER.

“She’s being called a horrible mom and in my opinion, Joe’s the big, bad, bullying dad. And unfortunately for them, the proof is all caught on tape.

“Not only does Joe show his true colors by appearing intoxicated and fighting during episodes, but it’s clear that their daughters – especially Gia – are suffering from his and Teresa’s poor parenting skills.”

During one booze-filled play session with Gia, Joe took a tumble and chipped his tooth on his marble floor. A terrified Gia sobbed at the sight of her dad’s bloody mouth.

“If Teresa had any brains at all, she wouldn’t leave her girls alone with Joe when he’s drinking,” said the source. “It’s an accident waiting to happen. Child Protection Services needs to watch a few episodes and they’d see for themselves that there’s enough evidence to use in a child neglect case.”

“This guy is certainly not a role model for the kids and appears to have a drinking problem,” Dr. Terry Lyles, a Florida-based psychologist and expert on stress and trauma, told The ENQUIRER.

 

Thanks 808wave for the heads up.

Filed under: Barney Devito, davana medina, jacqueline laurita, Joe Giudice, Real Housewives of New Jersey, TERESA GIUDICE, Barney Devito, gossip, Joe Giudice, Real Housewives of New Jersey, TERESA GIUDICE