Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Jacqueline Laurita Denies Rumors About Being A Stripper In Vegas!

After rumors hit the web regarding Jacqueline Laurita’s stripper past in Vegas she came back swinging and insist this is a bunch of fabricated bullshit. In fact, even Jacqueline’s father tweeted yesterday that this is nonsense. He states she was working in a convention job because his friend Steve Shirippa from the Soprano’s recommended her for it:

jgrippeJerry Grippe

Very upset about In Touch article. My friend, Steve Shirippa,(Sopranos) recommended Jacq for a convention job in Chicago w/ Versace Sport.

Jacqueline went on to post a long PDF file that states a play by play of how she met husband Chris Laurita:

“HOW I MET CHRIS”
For those of you who have been asking about how Chris and I met, I will tell you the story. Chris and I met the summer of 1996 when Ashley was only five years old. At the time, I rented a chair in a salon doing hair as a licensed cosmetologist in Las Vegas, Nevada where I had moved with my ex-husband and my parents in 1990.

I also would work my salon schedule and appointments around certain weeks when I was modeling at conventions that frequently came to our town. It was good money that I needed and I enjoyed doing it. I don’t really like to call it modeling because it wasn’t as glamorous as print work and runway, but I had fun doing it anyway.

I modeled clothes, shoes, accessories, electronics, computer programs, just what ever came to town. I never took jobs out of town because I had to take care of a small child. One day my Dad, who was senior vice president of operations at the Riviera Hotel and Casino, told me that a coworker of his knew a guy that needed a model to work in his booth at a trade show in Chicago. It was for the the NSGA (National Sporting Goods) trade show or something like that. I could never afford a vacation, so a trip to Chicago sounded like a pretty good deal to me and came at a time when I really felt like I needed to get away. My Dad’s coworker was a guy named Steve Shiripa.
You may know him by his character on The Sopranos. Steve is actually the guy that introduced me to a friend who hired me to do that job in Chicago. Meanwhile, Chris was a jobber in the wholesale apparel business and was building a new company. He was returning from vacation when he and his brothers decided last minute to go to the convention in Chicago. Chris was living in New Jersey at the time. Fate and destiny at work. Chris and his brothers happened to come by our booth and his brother just happened to know one of the girls I was working with through her sister. Small world. Chris and I were introduced. I thought nothing of it, besides the fact that he was a handsome guy with pretty blue eyes and dimples who was very quiet and seemed shy, but sexy at the same time.

Chris and his brothers came back around later that day and invited us to a dinner they were having. I originally said no because I didn’t know them well enough, but the girl I was working with kept insisting that she knew them to be good guys. She told me that Chris wasn’t going to go unless I went. I found that strange and hard to believe because Chris and I hadn’t spoken much, but I was intrigued at the same time. I finally agreed to go to the dinner but only if we met them there. Chris and I sat across from each other and basically tuned everyone else
out all night while we talked and laughed. We had an instant connection. I had a great time with him.

When I left, we exchanged numbers to keep in touch, never thinking it could go anywhere because of the distance between us. From that day on it was nonstop visiting and ridiculously long and frequent phone calls in which we really got to know each other and became the best of friends and fell in love. That went on for about five years. There was a year break between us after three years. I really had no desire to move to New Jersey at the time and pull Ashley away from my family and friends and he couldn’t make the move to Nevada. We couldn’t move forward. I was so in love with him and I wasn’t dating other people, but I was scared to make the move. After our year apart, our failed attempts to get each other out of our minds and attempts of being with other people, we both realized we were just meant to be together and it wasn’t worth fighting it anymore. We had missed being in each other’s lives so much. We knew we loved each other but I just didn’t know where he would fit in and where it could go.

We reconnected and then a year later he came to me and proposed to me right in front of Ashley. I had to make a decision right then and there. HELL YES! I decided to go for it. I knew if I didn’t that I might regret it the rest of me life. I knew that I loved Chris, he made me laugh, we both enjoyed a lot of the same interests, we had the same family values, and wanted similar things for our future. I felt safe with him and knew that he would always take care of me and Ashley, and he’d treat her like his own daughter. It was the best decision I ever made! We’ve been together since and we’re still going strong. I still see my Nevada friends and family often. It all worked out.(While dating Chris I also went on to work for Lancome and worked on-call for swing and graveyard shifts as a cocktail waitress for a local hotel and casino called Samstown. I also freelanced as a makeup artist, just in case you were wondering.) That’s the end of my long ass story and the beginning of a new one that you’re more familiar with … my life in New Jersey.

Jax also posted on Twitter a very blurry, grainy picture (that looks more like something on Paranormal Activity)  of her in front of the booth she worked at the day she met Chris.

She also posted this restaurant card from the day they met:

And this copy of an airplane roundtrip  Chicago/Vegas ticket, there is also business cards with her name that don’t say Professional Prostitution Whore (she left that one out!):

According to US Weekly Jacqueline  “will never speak to Teresa again,” and Caroline Manzo “hasn’t spoken to Teresa in months,” because “Every time they get together to film, everyone’s fighting with Teresa.” Melissa added that “Caroline is upset over the charade.” and  that “Teresa and Melissa still communicate for family stuff, but things are strained,”

So what do you bitches think is she lying to cover her ass? Ooor did Joker Face and Teresa cooked this one up in their bullshit cauldron?

Yes I am getting in the Halloween spirit. I honestly don’t care if Jax used to be a stripper or not, and I know one way or the other the truth always comes out in the end anyway. The one thing I was mostly curios about was where did she live before Vegas? I send her a tweet asking her, but I doubt she will answer a smart ass blogger who clowns on her.

By TwitterButtons.com

Filed under: Ashley Holmes, CAROLINE MANZO, christopher laurita, DANIELLE STAUB, jacqueline laurita, Jacqueline Laurita A Former Stripper!, Joker Face, real housewives franchises, Real Housewives of New Jersey, TERESA GIUDICE, CAROLINE MANZO, christopher laurita, DANIELLE STAUB, gossip, jacqueline laurita, Jacqueline Laurita A Former Stripper!, Joker Face, Real Housewives of New Jersey, TERESA GIUDICE

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hillbillies Taylor Armstrong's Husband Quit His Anti-Depressants Before His Suicide Plus The Illusive Graphic Pictures Of The Beatings

 

As was reported by TMZ  earlier Chankla Face failed to report the brutal ass beating she supposedly got from Russell right before he committed suicide, but recently Entertainment Tonight reported that there are graphic pictures proving Russell did in fact give Chankla a savage beating that left this bitch hysterically sobbing. As much as I despise this Chankla bitch, I do believe Russell did some damage however, it is now looking like this ho’ is exaggerating this shit to get sympathy and milk this cow dry. Funny how the Entertainment Tonight report came out AFTER she was questioned for NOT reporting Russell’s abuse to the police.

Radaronline also questions the existence of these pictures:

Entertainment Tonight broke the story Monday night that it had viewed images of the reality TV star that anchor Chris Jacobs described to viewers as “graphic.” (RadarOnline.com has not seen the photographs).

“I’ve seen shocking photos of Taylor with a deeply bruised right eye and a terrible trauma that stretched from here (the mouth) to here (the eye socket),”  Jacobs said.

“We are not ready to show them to you just yet, but I can tell you that it looks as though she was hit in the eye with tremendous force.”

ET did not say if it planned to broadcast the photographs of a battered Taylor, 40.

But the show suggested the photos were snapped after a violent confrontation between Taylor and Russell, which required her hospitalization and cosmetic surgery, as RadarOnline.com first revealed.

“They’re graphic photos of Taylor after she was seemingly beaten by Russell,” Jacobs said.

“It’s new evidence that Taylor may have beaten before she filed for divorce.”

Russell Armstrong, 47, was found dead at a friend’s home in Los Angeles on August 16, just a month after his six year marriage to Taylor collapsed. Officials say he committed suicide by hanging himself. A memorial service will be held for him on Wednesday.

Brittny Gastineau, a close friend of Taylor, also spoke to Entertainment Tonight, revealing that the reality starlet was “devastated” after Russell’s suicide.

“At the end of the day, even if he was abusive, she still loved him as the father of his child,” Gastineau said, adding: “As much as you hate, hate someone for treating you like that, you still have love for them.”

The  pictures that supposedly Entertainment Tonight  got a hold of are very “graphic” and show Chankla with a bruised bloody face and a gash that extended from her mouth to eye. Could this be the earlier pictures with the gash in her eye that according to Chankla and her friends the damage on those pictures were NOT caused by Russell? This whole web is getting so tangled it’s hard to keep up. However, Entertainment Tonight has NOT released those pictures so everyone is wondering if they even exist.

Russell was also said to have been taking medications for depression, but he quit taking those weeks before he killed himself.

From Radaronline:

“Russell had been doing so well when he was on the anti-depressants. He was prescribed the meds to control his rage issues. Russell stopped taking the meds two weeks before his suicide,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com.

Taylor had encouraged her estranged husband to stay on the anti-depressants. “Taylor was very supportive of him taking the meds. All of a sudden about two weeks ago, Russell stopped taking the meds though,” the insider says.

Ed Winter, Assistant Coroner for Los Angeles tells us:”No medication bottles for Mr. Armstrong were recovered from the scene.”

Russell’s mother has also been very vocal about NOT wanting Bravo to release one frame with Russell in it, OR ELSE! But despite her being upset over Bravo footage of Russell, Chankla and his family have agreed to take Russell’s body back to Texas and his funeral services will not be filmed for Bravo. Russell is also said to be having two funeral services. The network is still sweating and scrambling for the release date of the next season which was pushed ahead. Chankla has also been in hiding following Russell’s death and is “dreading” seeing his family at the funeral.

From Radaronline:

Taylor has been holed-up in her Bel Air Crest rental house with her daughter, Kennedy since the tragedy.

“Taylor is absolutely dreading seeing Russell’s parents, and the rest of his family,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com. “She feels that they all hate her, and that they blame her for Russell’s suicide. Taylor just wants to get through the memorial on Wednesday. She hopes that Russell’s family doesn’t try and cause a scene. This is a memorial service for the father of her daughter — Kennedy will be at the service as well.”

But, it’s not just Taylor that is being blamed by Russell’s family – Bravo, the network that airs the Real Housewives franchise is also coming under fire.

Russell Armstrong’s mother,John Anne Hotchkiss told CNN HLN’s Jane Velez-Mitchell last week that Bravo “better not air one frame of my son, or else.”

In addition, Russell’s step brother, Wade Jackson told RadarOnline.com exclusively that: “Russell’s whole family was very close and they’re considering suing Bravo.”

Meanwhile, at the memorial on Wednesday: “There will be no remains present. And the family may witness the placement of his urn on Thursday or Friday”, a source tells RadarOnline.com.

The memorial will be held at 3pm PT Wednesday at the Church of the Hills at Forest Lawn-Hollywood Hills — the same church where actress Brittany Murphy was memorialized after her sudden death in 2009.

Family, friends, and costars from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are expected to attend the memorial, which will be closed to the public and not filmed for the reality show.

Russell’s remains have been cremated and his ashes will be divided among his family and his estranged wife.

Other dumb-asses that are trying to stay relevant have also voiced their two cents that nobody gives two shits about. First Joker Face  stated that SHE was also suicidal because of the show (HA HA HA!!! BULLSHIT!) and that one skeletor bitch that crashed the Whitehouse with her husband, Michaele Salahi also put her two shits in and said that Russell “He Didn’t Understand What He Was Getting Into”. But voicing her lame ass opinion didn’t get her or her weird ass fat husband back on the show when they tried to duped Bravo into letting them crawl back in the Housewives Familia via the Beverly Hillbilly House Skanks Andy Cohen told them to fuck off because “we are not interested”.

Filed under: Chankla Face, DANIELLE STAUB, Joker Face, Michaele Salahi, Real Housewives of Beverly Hillbillies, Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, real housewives of dc, real housewives series, russell armstrong, russell armstrong suicide, DANIELLE STAUB, gossip, Joker Face, Michaele Salahi, Real Housewives of Beverly Hillbillies, real housewives of dc, russell armstong suicide, russell armstrong, The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Jacqueline Laurita Is Finally Tired Of Teresa Giudice's Bullshit

 

 

Jacqueline Laurita’s blog went up last night, where she addresses her “emotional breakdown” with Ashley. After Ass-holey pretty much called her moma a LOSER on national TV (she didn’t imply it Jac’s she called you that) for having a kid by the age of twenty, and how it’s Jacqueline’s fault for having to grow up and make sacrifices for ungrateful Ass-holey when she could of just given her up for adoption. Then, she calls her a loser again for choosing to have two more children in addition to Ashley. It was wrong very fucked up wrong. But you know what else is wrong? The way that Jacqueline and Ashley’s other parents choose to air her shit on TV all intervention style like that. This is a twenty year old girl who doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life and Jacqueline uses her ‘Ashley drama’ to get a storyline out of it? WTF?

I am sure Ashley also agreed to put her business out there like that (I read somewhere she is under contract by Bravo) and now that people are insulting and attacking Ashley on Facebook and Twitter (since I’m sure they do all the time) Jacqueline posted a message to them to knock it off. I know some of you are going to get pissed at me but fuck it I don’t care, but I think the problem with the Ashley is she does have those artistic talents and some people, not all people but SOME people with artistic talents march to the beat of a different drummer and so this may affect them in the way they act or treat others and react to normal things (like getting your shit together or getting a job) that motivate other people, but may not motivate them the same way or at the same time as they are expected to. Don’t ask me how I know this. So there may be hope for the Ass-holey and hopefully she will get through her Ass-holey years and become Ashley. Hopefully. If not, and she wants to just pursue a career in jumping on the three-ring circus, famewhoring  train on a full time basis there’s always Jersey Shore. At least they will make sure her ass cleans up after herself everyday.

Jacqueline also adresses Teresa and her bullshit it’s pretty intense shit too! When the first season started Teresa Giudice was cute with her stupid antics and spending habits and saying she didn’t want to live in someones ‘used’ linoleum floor house and whatever, as the seasons went on she didn’t evolve she mutated into a psycho ass, basket case, prostitution-whore, bashing ball of chaos anger and bankruptcy. However, her friends Jacqueline and Caroline never really addressed her with her obvious elephant in the room craziness behaviours and even thought Caroline kinda got upset with her a couple of times it never got escalated into any sort of heated argument or anything like that.

 Jacqueline also posted on her blog about how Teresa’s bullshit with talking to Joker Face on Twitter has opened her eyes to the light specially since Tree allowed Joker Face room to instigate a fight between Tree and Mel specially now that the two are getting along and  Joker Face’s show is flopping so it seems she  is trying to snake her way back into the housewives drama by saying that Mel told her all this shit about Teresa and how she wanted Joker Face to help her take down Tree and expose her and all this crazy crap that’s probably  lies anyways.

While Teresa sat there talking out of “both sides” of her mouth like Jacqueline puts it on one hand thanking Joker Face for telling her all this shit about Melissa and on the other hand telling her to leave her family alone? WTFUCK? Jacqueline agrees that Tree is full of shit and feels the bitch should of never consulted with the devil on Melissa and the “dirt” she supposedly had on Tree. So all these developments should make things more interesting between the two of them. Methinks the reason that Teresa was all pissed off over her family joining this show and Jacqueline plus Caroline meeting and liking her family is because Tree wants it to be all about her.

My theory is that this girl grew up being the ‘little princess’ at home with her mom and dad and her little brother Joe looked up to her and was her little sidekick and then when Melissa came in the picture Teresa could not handle another female being the center of attention and the pretty princess of the family. So decided to talking mad dog shit to her parents about Mel to get them on her side. It just appears like this. I’m not saying Melissa is all innocent and doesn’t do shit NO that bitch has her fault in stirring shit too. She is a Teresa junior, for real she is that’s why Psycho little Joey married her (putting aside all those asshole incest jokes I made on my recaps) because she reminds him of something he is familiar with and yes she copies Teresa on everything too including those tacky ass glittery dresses and the scary ass puffy- fluffy nightmares she makes her daughter wear. 

 I am sure there is more shit we haven’t even heard of yet and just by seeing Teresa’s brothers psycho reaction that ignited an unnecessary brawl at the Christening that got ruined plus all the stories about the old family members getting pissed at each other tells me that  with this family bullshit-ass fights and grudges are expected of you if not then you’re not normal, but then again what family isn’t that way even to a small degree?

Here is some of the tweets that resulted from all this tweeter bullshit with the Joker. Click here for a complete post on this Tweetter war from hell.

 “Wow careful now bc ive got emails from her own sisterinlaw w so much Teresa dirt.”

• “@melissagorga Melissa Did you ever tell Teresa you were contacting me constantly?”
• “@melissagorgadid you tell tre you wanted to come on w me last season To get back at her”
• “@melissagorgaand everytime you & Tre’s brother begged me to come on w me – I said no!”
• Let’s be clear. After I posted abt the xmas cookies incident on FB she approached me to film w/ her. Did I film? No! Begged her? Please

 From Jacqueline’s blog:

I’m about to address the most difficult scene of this season for me to watch. I can barely watch it. It’s tough opening our lives up to you like this, but we signed up to be honest with our audience. We learn a lot from watching ourselves. I have to say though, it was an eye opener for the both of us. I’m hoping for Ashley and I to gain a better understanding of each other and also learn a little something about ourselves. As a mother, you love your children SO MUCH that you want to give them the best of everything and want to guide them through the easiest route in life by avoiding some of the obstacles that you’ve already learned your way around. It’s painful to see your child hurting. You want to save them from themselves sometimes and from doing things that you know could harm them. You want your child to believe in you and respect you for what you already know. It doesn’t always work that way.

When I tell Ashley how hard I have worked and the sacrifices I have made in my life to give us both a good life, it is NOT to rub that in her face as if she had burdened me with that. NOT AT ALL! I CHOSE my path in life and I wouldn’t have had it ANY other way. I would make the SAME choices ALL OVER AGAIN to have my daughter and give her the best life I could. My point in telling Ashley that was being misunderstood or mis-communicated to her. What I want from Ashley is to just APPRECIATE me and RESPECT me for doing it! THAT’S IT! I want her to be PROUD of me for what I’ve done in my life, and not look down on me for it. I want her to hold me in as high regard as she does her father. I want her to love me and appreciate me for giving the both of us what we’ve had throughout the years. Ashley was NO MISTAKE. Ashley is EXACTLY why I WANTED to work the way I did. She grounded me. She was what kept me going. She is who I looked forward to spending my time with. I WANTED that life with her, I DON’T begrudge her for it. I’m thinking now that may be what Ashley was thinking this whole time and where some of her anger may have been coming from. I hope she realizes now how much I have ALWAYS loved her and have NEVER regretted the decision I made to “keep her,” as she put it.  

I think that’s why my heart broke when Ashley made the comment that at least she didn’t have a kid at twenty. I took it like she was IMPLYING I was a loser for that, and that she looks down on me for not going further with a career in my own life, and that was why she doesn’t respect me as a person and never accepts my advice or guidance, because she thinks I have no experience or right to give it. Maybe it’s my own insecurities, but it deeply hurt my feelings to hear her say it. I want her to be proud of who I am, just like how she probably feels that she wants me to be proud of who she is. Guess what, Ashley, I AM proud of you! Ashley has MANY special qualities. I tell her ALL the time. She is creatively gifted, intelligent, funny, beautiful, and has a strong personality that can be used to her advantage. I want HER to see that and do something good with it.

Finally, I felt I needed to address Teresa’s blog from last week, because I always held back on commenting on them before. I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed. What has gotten into you? 

I want to address your paragraph about Caroline and me where you stated, “Caroline and Jacqueline telling me that Danielle hurt their families was enough for me to support them. I didn’t need proof. I didn’t need to invite Danielle to my parties to “see for myself.” I trusted my friends and had their back.” If I remember correctly, there is a contradiction to what you stated. When your friends, to whom you claim loyalty, strongly disliked a “certain somebody” you continued to still hang out with that “certain somebody” and gave them a chance (just like I did) until YOU couldn’t take her ways anymore. I respected you for being your own person. You even went as far as to invite that “certain somebody” to your dinner party along with a couple of your friends, who you knew couldn’t even “stomach the sight of her,” because you are nice like that. YOU decided you had enough of that “certain somebody” having a past and present that you unapproved of, telling you to pay attention, spreading rumors about your husband and your house being in foreclosure, comparing you to a wild animal, and the most obvious and infuriating for you, bringing up Melissa’s name at the reunion show and claiming that you didn’t acknowledge your nephew. It was those moments concerning YOU that prompted you to flip a table, chase “a certain somebody” through a fashion show, and throw Andy Cohen like a rag doll. Be honest, was that about having your friends’ back, or did she insult YOU? 

PLEASE DON’T PRETEND that you acted out for your friends by being a loyal soldier. You even went out of your way to say “hello” to a “certain someone” that had been harassing my daughter, threatening and spreading horrible lies about me and my family at the Posche Fashion show. Were you being a loyal soldier then or were you being your own person, which I respected and never got mad at for all the chaos you caused? I would NEVER expect you to dislike somebody, because I do or fight my battles FOR me. If you’re going to fight them WITH me because you are feeling the same way, then that is a BONUS! LOL! 

Your definition of “loyalty” doesn’t always match your actions. You are your own person aren’t you? I feel like you should take responsibility for your own choices, actions, and admit to forming your own opinions that had nothing to do with your “loyalty” to your friends! You are NOT that weak of a person. I was so grateful to you when my sister-in-law, whom you had been friends with years before, and I were feuding that you didn’t choose a side. You allowed our friendship to grow. That showed me that you were a good person and had a mind of your own, but in YOUR definition of a “loyal” friend, I guess you contradicted yourself, and you weren’t that loyal yourself. Please don’t make it sound like every action you took against Danielle was for us and say that she never did anything to you, when clearly she did. The truth is you had your own issues with her. That’s all I’m trying to say. I just wanted to clear that up.

I am also very surprised that you tweeted and then added to your blog that transparent paragraph about Danielle while speaking out both sides of your mouth. On the one hand you’re telling her thank you, then the next tweet it was you don’t believe her and to leave your family alone. On the other side you are clearly begging her to come up with proof to expose Melissa of something she may or may not have said two years ago during rough times between the two of you. In my opinion, that is totally irrelevant now. She should have given up that information to you two years ago when it WAS relevant. According to your blogs and interviews in other media outlets, you have always claimed that Danielle has never done anything to you, and she doesn’t bother or phase you. So why do you even care anyway, right? (Even though I know you don’t really feel that way.) Besides, if you really mean what you say about not wanting to ever rehash the past and only wanting to move forward, and you sincerely want to make things better between you and your family, it probably wasn’t a good idea to even humor Danielle by saying you even care either way and that you even want proof. You know she’s just looking to stay relevant. I thought she said she wasn’t into drama. What do you think her motive was by tweeting that? Your well being? My advice, Teresa —  It’s in the PAST! You are in a much better place now with your family now (sort of). Keep rolling forward. I’m only telling you this because I care and I didn’t like seeing you hurting over your family, and I know how hard the two of you have worked to get your relationship to where it is today. Don’t go back to that dark place. It doesn’t benefit your relationship with Melissa today, and it doesn’t look good for you to be encouraging Danielle to “show proof.”

It also upset me very much that you would even entertain someone that was so toxic in ALL of our lives. WHY would you open that dangerous, ugly door again to invite in trouble (for everybody)? I don’t get you. BAD MOVE! 

There is one more thing that I felt that I  had to address. You say everyone has motives for coming on the show with their “get-rich-quick schemes.” Who isn’t trying to make a buck nowadays, and what’s wrong with that? Especially when it’s your family. Why do you make it sound like a bad thing? You say Kathy’s is baking, Melissa’s is singing, so what was YOUR “get-rich-quick scheme,” Teresa? Was it the cookbooks? The TG Fabulicious store? The makeup? The lip gloss? The nail polish? The sauce? The olive oil? The pots and pans? The teeth whitener? The t-shirt line? The Bellini? The wine? The kids’ shampoo line? And now you want to come out with a prostitution whore song? Take a look at your own motives, Teresa. I think you’ve pretty much covered every market. What’s next, a rhinestone studded sex toy line? God Bless you for putting in the work to make all of that happen. I am so proud of you. I hope you are extremely successful. But you are not the only one entitled to make money with the show. How can you knock people trying to make a living? This show gives us a platform for many things. There is enough room for everyone to be successful. There is no need to be greedy or even jealous of other people’s successes.

This year has really opened up my eyes to a lot of things. Thank you for finally clearing up all those rumors out there. It’s good to know that you are fine and really aren’t going through a hard time, but maybe it’s time you let the rest of the world who is worried sick about you in on that too. Sometimes, I wish I would have kept my rose colored glasses on or kept my eyes shut. 

Filed under: DANIELLE STAUB, Joker Face, Real Housewives of New Jersey, TERESA GIUDICE, Ashley Holmes, CAROLINE MANZO, DANIELLE STAUB, gossip, jacqueline laurita, TERESA GIUDICE, the real housewives of new jersey

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap, Jesus' Birthday Almost Ruined By The Kim That Would Not Leave

After Monica Chacon was thrown out of Melissa and Psycho Joe’s house; she stood outside waiting for Kim G, who said ‘goodbye and sucks to be you’ to Monica and made that bitch walk home in her stilettos, in the dark, with no ride. What a great friend she is,  stays at the party her side-bitch just got kicked out from HOW NICE!. Kim felt it was better to stay because someone has to start shit and run her mouth and this is exactly what this hag did. How long is her Bravo audition going to go on for?

Teresa is happy and grateful that Melissa threw that skank out and decides to dance with her sister-in-law and Psycho Joe decides to get sandwiched in between the Nalgas of all his sisters-in-law plus some random transvestite bitches in there, so that he can corral them for the orgy he is having later where he will be wearing his best nightie with his high heel slippers.

Teresa tells Melissa that if they stick together they are unstoppable  (yeah imagine all the fraud and scams they can commit?) and Kim G yells “for now!”. Suddenly Teresa hears this bitches sewer-banshee  screeches  and  realizes Kim G is still in the house  smirking like an asshole licking her shit stirring spoon and mocking Teresa because even though the lawyer skank got booted out Kim didn’t, so Kim makes sure she rubs it in Teresa’s face that she is still there. Teresa asks her bro and sil WTF? They tell her to chill because Kim is just a harmless senior citizen, but Tree knows better and tells them that Kim is  a snake who will start all kinds of mad dog shit, but Psycho Joe and Mel decide to ignore that. Did they not watch the last season? Melissa says Teresa hates Kim G because they’re a lot alike so they are secretly sisters. Really? Are you sure you’re all not triplets from different decades?

And of course this time Teresa was right, Kim G is running a trail of diarrhea spewage about Melissa kicking Monica out to anyone that will listen and it appears Kathy and a circle of women are giving her audience, but all she gets is a bunch of dirty looks and frowns. Not too happy Lauren tells that bitch to quit stirring the witch brew because she is pathetic.  The God Mother is keeping an eye on this lunatic like a watchdog and gets on her bitch slapping mode walks up to Kim Granny-Tell gets in that bitche’s face wagging her finger, to tell that bitch off and put her in her place. The God Mother tells that bitch to have respect for their son’s friendship and Kim G keeps smirking like the bitch she is, until she is told to get the fuck out by Christopher who is trying to stop the two grandma’s from going at it, so he gets in between them. Kim G’s bodyguard (who is like 70, 80?) stands there staring while gnats are flying around his face and Kim G yells SEEK SEEK!! But that doesn’t work on her elderly body guard (whom she picked up at the old-people-home she finds her free dates at) then his ass gets yelled at by The God Father (who is also ready to throw down) and tells him to FUCK OFF!

Chris tries to be cool about the whole deal and decides he is not going to let this shit-storm get more stormy so he talks to Kim Granny-Tell (like an adult which obviously SHE is NOT!) and tries to patch things up by kindly walking her outside. While he is outside chatting with Kim G Teresa and Barney Devito are waiting for the valet to bring their car and end up watching the whole spectacle realizing Kim G is getting kicked out of the party. Tree is glad she isn’t in this mess and tells her hubby she is going to ride his vibrator wearing sausage cock all night long while Kim G plays with her toys. EEEEWWWW!!! Thanks Tree now I need to wash my brain with acid to get rid of that image.

The God Mother freaks out because she doesn’t want her baby Christopher outside trying to reason with the Devil so she sends her “Golden Boy” to fetch him and finish taking out the “Gaw-bage”. Of course she is walking right behind Albie to make sure that old bitch leaves, The God Father is right behind her in case he has to send his thugs out to throw the security guard in the trash whom I’m sure took refuge in hiding under the car by now. Ashley is also right behind HOPING that she will have to go rip some old lady weave, but her mom drags her back in. The God Father calls Kim a “clown” and Ashley responds “just like Danielle!”.

Christopher seems to be handling the situation pretty well when Albie comes fling out like he’s ready to box Kim G and he commands Christopher to come back in. Like a little boy that got grounded and can’t play outside anymore, Christopher comes back inside and when Kim G tries to come back in Albie barks at her, BITCH YOU’RE NOT WELCOME, I’M SECURITY, YOU’RE NOT WELCOME, and Kim G asks him when did you become security? But Albie has a reply for everything and says SINCE LIKE TWO MINUTES AGO BITCH! LEAVE! And surprisingly she left! Teresa yells “ding dong the witch is dead!”.

Melissa thinks it’s strange that the Manzo’s were kicking someone out of her party. If it had been any other people she would of being pissed, BUT since this is the Manzo’s she is going to shut the fuck up and NOT bitch, but instead just tell her boys to take notes and do the same for mama when their ass is grown up. Well yeah! When her son’s are like twenty, she is still gonna be feeding them in the mouth with the apron strings attached, so them barking at bitches that start shit with their mama is expected.

After the fiasco the Manzo’s are all sitting around while Christopher expects a call from Johnny, Kim G’s son. Christopher is pissed off that he was handling the situation well, but his familia had to get all ugly and kick Kim G out and all this shit while he was trying to be respectful to his friend’s mother, despite the fact she is a crazy ass bitch. I feel bad for Christopher! The older Chris  jumps in to give his opinion on Kim G and says that the bitch needs to be smacked and “all bets are off!” IT’S WAR! The phone rings and is Johnny on the other line they talk things out and all is well. I’m sure Kim G’s son knows how crazy his mom is no one has to explain it to him, that’s why he ran far away to college like he did to get away from her. However, that crazy bitch Kim G went to Rumorfix.com where she claims the cameras didn’t get the full drama she says that Albie shoved her and her son and Christopher got into a fight as a result of this shit and she seems to have an air of satisfaction that she ruined their friendship. Is this bitch mentally ill or just plain evil?

When the party is over and everyone leaves Psycho Joe has to show his respect to the God Father by kissing his ring (he better remember to ask him a favor on Lauren’s wedding day) then he thanks him for taking the “Gaw-bage” out of his house.

Melissa says the party was a success, even though they spend 50k on the party it was all for charity and worth it they were able to collect eight used toys amounting to less than ten dollars and some of them weren’t even toys, they were just things people found around the house and wrapped up. There’s going to be a cancer child opening up a can of Cheese Wiz on Christmas day.

Kathy is having her own Christmas party and her mom is there helping her prepare food and in familias Italianas the women go on a  cooking marathon during Christmas eve while they talk shit about everybody and they don’t stop until they’re done. Kathy’s mom tells the story about how a hundred years ago her husband sold his business to her brother and he never finished paying so she didn’t speak to the brother for like another 70 years and one day she ran into him at the fish market and started crying because she was regretful. Sounds like keeping score has been around in this family for decades and now it has just mutated into a big circus that’s getting aired out on national TV. Their entertaining fights and brawls are no longer limited to the neighbors eyes, now the whole country can watch! AWESOME!

Caroline is giving advice on her radio show and people are calling in while she tells them to quit being pussies. Her brother Chris calls totally unexpected and unscripted by Bravo and asks advice on dealing with Assho-ley. And she tells him to put the smack down. No just kidding she tells him something stupid like he is doing a good job or some shit. I heard that right now Assho-ley is living in Texas with her other family because she got tarred, feathered and chased out of town by the Jersey folk.

I didn’t know Caroline’s brother is in town. Uh oh!! Is that Caroline?! Sorry! Caroline is cooking up a storm of her own, including her dad’s special ghetto I’m broke bitch sauce that he came up with when he was home-bound baked off his ass and broke. AHHH the recipes stoners come up with are the best!

Teresa’s daughters are all dolled up in the beautiful flower girl dresses she picked up cheap at the yard sale from My Big Fat Gyspy Wedding. The dress itself weights twice each little girl’s body weight and this weights them down if any of them think of running away. I’m looking at you Audriana!

The Gorga’s show up (Melissa had to drag Joe and bribe him with sex because he didn’t want to be there) and Melissa’s daughter is also sporting her own fifty pound dress. Fake Santa Claus show up and the girls are not fooled since they know it’s their grandma. Kids are so smart these days, with the Internet an’ all.

And speaking of Gypsy weddings and teenage brides Gia got a ring from a boy she doesn’t like, but she will take his rings and gifts. Barney Devito gets the shotgun ready as he and grandpa Gorga plan on negotiating an old fashioned shotgun Catskills wedding with a dowry for little Gia.

Uncle Psycho Joe  comes over to tease Gia and tells  her he is going to beat up her boyfriend and drunken Barney Devito gets all kinds of pissed because he believes Psycho Joe is ruining his evil genius plan of this marriage arraignment he is trying to coordinate in marrying Gia off to a rich family and get out of debt. So he decides to sit at the dinning table and trash talk Psycho Joe by calling him and his family “fucking animals” and calls Melissa “Raccoon face” and a “witch”. Yeah, this is really going to help things along with the Gorga/Giudice family feud.

Teresa and Melissa argue over whose outfit looks more like a two-dollar corner-whore. And Teresa tries to say she is embarrassed for Melissa showing her plastic cleavage (on Jesus’ 89th b-day) but Teresa is showing half butt-cheek. Turd meet the runs. Both of you are dressed like you have the SAME pimp! So shut the fuck up already!

Psycho Joe and Melissa do not stay for dinner, but instead head out to Kathy Wikipedia and her husband’s leaving a pissed off Teresa who had a place set for her brother and family the kids are pissed that they didn’t get to stay and play with their cousins. Poor kids! Right now they are too young to understand the so-called grown-ups immaturity!

Filed under: Ashley Holmes, CAROLINE MANZO, chris manzo, chrisptopher manzo, DANIELLE STAUB, gossip, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Joker Face, kathy wakile, Kim Granatell, Kim Granny Panties, Kim GrannyTell, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, TERESA GIUDICE, The Brownstone, Barney Devito, DANIELLE STAUB, dina manzo, gossip, jacqueline laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Joker Face, Kim Granatell, Kim GrannyTell, Melissa Gorga, recaps, TERESA GIUDICE, The Brownstone, the real housewives of new jersey

Ex-Real House Skank Of New Jersey, Joker Face Claims She Was Almost Killed Because Of Bravo VH1 Watches Out For Her

 

 

The more I hear about Joker Face the more I think that bitch needs a psychiatrist. Last week she trashed Bravo and said that the new network VH1 really takes care of her plus her new manager is God because all of a sudden she is religious,(looney!).  Her Attention Whore Personality Disorder crazy-ass admits she’s always been an attention seeking  skank and she hopes to stay a famewhore for the rest of her life, “I don’t think I have ever really left reality TV, my whole life is reality,”. Joker Face says she hates Bravo now, “The difference between this and the last one is there is resolve at the end of the day,”.

She also insist that the NJ bitches were really trying to kill her,  “And no one is trying to kill me. It got really scary for me and for my children. They begged me not to go back [to Bravo] after the reunion.”.

Joker Face is bitter at Bravo including Andy because she also says no one reached out to sad Joker when her mom died. She is still crazy and annoying as fuck though plus delusional, Joker Face believes she brought in the ratings and insisted on this, even though the HP interviewer pointed out to her that the show is doing much better now ever since Bravo gave her the boot, (although no one is sure if Bravo fired her ass or she left, methinks they fired her).

So there you have it, Joker Face says she hates Bravo, but loves VH1  and she is so happy with Vh1 because they are not trying to kill her yet.

Thanks to Jennifer for the email

Source Huffington Post

Filed under: DANIELLE STAUB, Joker Face, Real Housewives of New Jersey, DANIELLE STAUB, gossip, Joker Face, the real housewives of new jersey

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap, It's A Very Guido Christmas When The Drag Queens Come Out Of The Closet

 

Jacqueline is getting ready for the holidays and has the whole family over including loud mouth and professional weave pulling daughter Ashley, who  is now berating her mother for meddling into other bitches business (Gorga/Giudice feud). Yeeeaaaah, because Ashley always keeps out of drama!  Plus why is she dressed like a Halloween pumpkin?  I thought these are Christmas decorations they are making, not Halloween costumes.

God Mother Caroline is also getting ready for the Chrismasseses (misspelled on purpose!) and little Caroline (Lauren) is on ‘bitch mode’ because she now feels left out of her brothers click. More on that bitchiness later.

There is a creepy ass Christmas tree that looks like ‘someone shot the Grinch’ I didn’t know Joker Face Staub died. But maybe it’s just her fifteen minutes of famewhoring that are dead.

Caroline finds out that ‘creepy’ Santa’s face got eaten by a baby Chupacabra and Albie is happy about that because now he can use mutilated Santa to send a message to the next idiot they’re gonna clip.

Melissa is having some music producers  over to convince them she is the next Beyonce. Melissa starts to sing a song ‘Ala American Idol’ to impress the producers her ‘wretched’ ass gets a thumbs up from the producers (that Psycho Little Joey just wrote a check to).  But she is  still a day late and a dollar short so her ass better become a wedding singer or some shit. Maybe Godfather Al can book her at the Brownstoner for all the weddings, quinceaneras and Bar Mitzvah’s that go on there.

The ‘You’re an asshole’ music starts playing when the producers asks Melissa to put in fifteen hours a day and little Psycho  Joe is not too happy about that shit because he is supportive of her delusional music aspirations, but still wants her to be barefoot and pregnant while holding a microphone. So Psycho Joe decides to make his basement /wine room into Melissa’s studio so he can lock her up. This way Melissa can hold a baby in one hand a microphone in the other and still breast-feed Psycho Joey while he fights baby Gorga for a nipple.

Teresa is wearing her Louboutin $1,000.00 dollars hooker boots to seduce Barney Devito because they are happy that they don’t hate each other and their ass is sitting on the floor since now their house has no furniture because of that little Grinch that stole it. And so they eat their 30 cent Top Ramen and ketchup on the floor. Then, they fart.

Teresa says that this has been a fucked up year. You know with the bankruptcy and all the lawsuits and all. So, this is the reason she goes out and buys thousand dollar boots! She doesn’t even buy furniture to replace the shitty furniture that’s missing! Teresa rather sit on the floor with her nice  thousand dollar boots than have a table to fuck on.

On this episode Teresa addresses the fraud lawsuit her husband Barney Devito Giudice got slammed with. His ex-partner accuses him of forging his signature on some documents and Barney Devito believes it was some Nacho Midget  dressed like Barney Devito that can write like Barney Devito that did it. Teresa believes and supports her husband’s explanation.

Next Kathy and her husband Richie attempt to purchase a funeral parlor restaurant and come across some huge venue that’s way out of their prize range. They are introduced to the person selling the restaurant who takes them on a tour. Richie admits that he doesn’t have the money to buy this huge restaurant and the owner of the restaurant gets pissed off because these low renters are wasting his time so he tells them that if they find someone to lend them money to call him back and he says it all attitudy too!

 

So Kathy and Richie crawl their sorry asses over to the Brownstoner to asks the God Father for some money to invest in their new venture and the God Father’s answer was: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!  No really it was, I’m not making it up this time.

Did ya all notice how pissed off Kathy was when big Al laughs? And she rolls her eyes. Then, the God Father straight up tells them they don’t know what the hell they are getting into and he is not lending them money for some stupid bullshit restaurant that would end up going bankrupt anyways, and if he not  stupid enough to give Christopher money for a Putana-carwash (that never happened, thank God!) then he is not stupid enough to give them money for a restaurant because just like he didn’t want to end up washing cars topples at Christopher’s car wash he doesn’t want to end up washing dishes at these fucktards future failed restaurant.Then, he tells them the hounds are getting released in ten seconds and to get the fuck off his property and quit wasting his time.   Damn no love for them. That sucks!

Psycho Joe Gorga is busy building away his wife’s tacky ‘gold’ studio so she can make ‘golden records’ while she makes Psycho Joe Lasagna. Joe says he will put his wife in a sound booth with mirrors so he can keep an eye on her, and make sure she is not getting out of line.

Lauren and Jacqueline show up to visit the Manzo brothers. Lauren says she hopes her brothers don’t have any bitches over tonight. BECAREFUL GREG! Christopher and Albie are hanging out at their new swanky pad  and of course their house bitch Greg is there also. Greg has now been promoted to little sister because Lauren was demoted to bitchy bitch. Lauren is pissed off about getting replaced by Greg and decides she wants to get into a cat fight with him over her brothers. Then, she starts crying and Jacqueline hugs her, but her brothers and new little sister Greg roll up their eyes at Lauren for being so ridiculous. Albie says he is glad to have Greg as a friend because at least he can’t date Lauren. But he can date him BUA HA HA HA!!!! If Albie came out of the closet,  in that way I would love him forever. But I doubt it, I think I’m getting my hopes up.

Because Lauren has a little bitch crying fit over being replaced by Greg, Albie decides to give her an early Christmas present and hands her a key to the apartment so she can come over anytime. Greg is not happy, what if she opens the door when they are all having ‘naked ham throwing night?.’ HUH?

 Jacqueline visits Kim Granny-Tell because that bitch has a lot of gossip and Kim shows off her new chandelier that she will use to hang from after she does her special Granny Panties Pole Special. However, when Kim tells Jacqueline about the heap of gossip she has on Teresa Jacqueline yells at her to ‘shut the fuck up! BITCH!’

We also find out (according to Kim) that she had a brain tumor and that’s why she’s so crazy. I knew that bitch had a hole in her head!

Kim thinks that Teresa doesn’t like her and that’s why she is always going after her, but Jacqueline explains it’s because her saggy ass is an easy target for clowning, specially when she is trying to polish the pole with her granny panties. TRUE!

At the Manzo boys apartment Lauren can’t find a marker to put her brother’s names on the Christmas stockings so she will use red crushed pepper and Caroline says it’s a ‘very Guido Christmas’.

The green feather Christmas tree is freaking Albie out, and I don’t blame him that shit looks like a dead bird that was dipped in a pool of green Kool Aid and became road kill. Horrible!

Greg tries to be nice and suggest that they all go somewhere including Lauren. Like a  little bitch Lauren snaps at Greg I DON’T WANT YOUR PITY, DON’T INCLUDE ME IN YOUR SHIT BITCH! Then she bitches over something stupid about how the other night her brothers made dinner with Greg and she wasn’t even invited, although Lauren lives almost an hour away and calling her every time they  boil water to make  Cup Of Noodles  would be stupid  just so that she can drive for one hour. The God Mother tells Lauren she’s been an ‘unreasonable’ asshole and should go hang out with Ashley and ‘get a hobby’ practicing how to become a future Real House Skank  instead of worrying over what the heck her brothers are doing all day.

Jacqueline prepares for her party and is worried the tables will fight back because she knows that Psycho Joe also likes to bang on tables and let’s not forget Teresa and her table flipping skills. Jacqueline’s parents want to ad more alcohol to the drinks that will be served that night so that hopefully another brawl will break out.

This episode was filmed at the time Teresa and Barney Devito had to go to court for Barney Devito’s fraud charges. And while in the car when Teresa is berating Barney Devito to ‘keep it classy’, he tells her to shut up like three times. But later she keeps it classy when she goes and tells this woman Monica Chacon (who happens to be her husbands ex-partners lawyer’s wife) to quit talking shit about her or some table flipping is gonna go down. Teresa says she did it to ‘silence the lamb’.  The fuck?

 

 

Teresa and Barney Devito show up and Teresa is clad in her best cave-woman fur. Melissa and Psycho Joe  arrive and Melissa is also wearing her cave-woman Jr. fur coat.

Why did  Bravo have to make me throw up a little bit in my mouth? Notice how when Psycho Joe showed up they cut to Teresa who tells him he looks thin or some shit and she feels his chest? Then they cut to Barney Devito who is looking pissed and jelaous that Teresa is complementing her brother? Then Lauren gives her 2-cents on Melissa and basically just says that Melissa is a younger cuter version of Teresa and that the 2 bitches are fighting over Psycho Joe’s love! WHAT!? WHY!? WHY BRAVO WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PUT THESE UNDERTONES OF INCESTS IN THIS BULLSHIT WHY!! I WAS FINE AND THEN YOU HAVE TO PUT THAT SHIT IN MY HEAD AND I HAVE A SICK HEAD TOO! Another blogger made the remark that Psycho Joe and Teresa are Banjo Players together. EEEEWWWW!!!!! I sure in fuck hope they are NOT!!! Click here to read that post.   I hope Lauren never ever ever says any shit like that again. I would never compete for my brothers love with his wife. Please! Last time I saw that punk I was glad he was going home with his wife. No competing there.

While the little shindig is going on at Jacqueline’s everyone has this air of fake forced smiles and you can tell they are all uncomfortable too! The air is very uptight and quiet specially right after Barney Devito and Teresa show up and everyone is looking  at Teresa and Barney Devito like they farted and are embarrassed for them because that’s the day Teresa confronted Monica Chacon in the court hallway and in all her cave-woman glory made an ass of herself by damn near getting into a fist fight with the other woman . When Barney is explaining Teresa’s latest stunt of crazy to the other men  laugh nervously.

Everyone continues pretending they all love each other and that they are all going to have a lot of fun. Melissa and Psycho Joe get introduced to the Manzo’s and Greg. Psycho Joe immediately eyeballs Greg because he is a ‘tall guy!’. As the night progresses and everyone gets drunker Psycho Joe gets dared on a dare to flap his crusty ‘balls’ inside Jacqueline’s hoochie casino hooker outfit.

 The very daring Psycho Joe jumps to the chance of wearing Jacqueline’s outfit to impress and seduce sexy tall Greg and Greg says that this ‘has become a regular Friday night ‘ you know with the ‘drag queen’ Psycho Joe coming out of the closet an all.  Teresa is getting jealous and sees that Melissa and Psycho Joe may have a chance at a threesome with tall sexy gay Greg so she tries to put the moves on him and tries to seduce him to a threesome with her husband Barney Devito who is also eyeballing Greg. But fails. Melissa announces she will be throwing a party and everyone is invited including Greg because her and Psycho Joe like him.  Melissa and Psycho Joe need to both come out of the closet already specially Psycho Joe, that boy’s been dressing like a woman ever since the season started and every time there is an opportunity to dress like a bitch he jumps on it with his high heels on. What a bunch of fun fucktards they are!

Filed under: Ashley Holmes, chris manzo, chrisptopher manzo, gossip, jacqueline laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Joker Face, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, TERESA GIUDICE, The Brownstone, Barney Devito, CAROLINE MANZO, gossip, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, recaps, TERESA GIUDICE, The Brownstone, the real housewives of new jersey

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Dish On New Season And Their Thougths On The Arnold Schwarzenegger Love Child Fiasco

The NJ Bitches share their thoughts on current events including the Arnold affair and also laugh at Joker Face for thinking the show was going to tank without her in the cast. Here is the original post from the Insider:

The Insider.com’s Nicole Dabeau got an exclusive sit-down with the ladies of the “Real Housewives of New Jersey” during their visit to the Sirius XM studios in NYC, and the girls got to dish on a variety of subjects, including their fiery season premiere episode.

With news of the show being hailed as the highest rated season premiere in Bravo’s history with 2.87 million viewers, Jacqueline Laurita gave her outlook on why they were able to come back with a bang.

“I kind of thought that might happen,” Jacqueline said as laughter erupted from the ladies. “Only because it was a little crazy.”

Now crazy can be considered an understatement if one were to view what transpired during the episode. Tension brewed between Teresa Giudice and her brother Joe Gorga, who’s husband to current housewife Melissa Gorga, due to some sibling miscommunication at Joe’s youngest son Giuseppe‘s christening. Things boil out of control as Joe erupts in a fit of rage and Melissa broke it down like only a devoted wife could.

“I think everyone reaches their breaking point,” Melissa said. “At the time, certain things went on and it just was too much.”

When the women shared their thoughts on the Arnold Schwarzenegger affair scandal and how they would handle it, many of them easily agreed with Teresa’s perspective. “There’s always two sides,” she mentioned. “But I would never stay with a cheater.”

Hear what the women think Maria Shriver should do and more in the video!

Filed under: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Arnold Schwarzenegger Love Child Fiasco, CAROLINE MANZO, DANIELLE STAUB, jacqueline laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Joker Face, latest news, Real Housewives of New Jersey, TERESA GIUDICE, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Arnold Schwarzenegger Love Child Fiasco, CAROLINE MANZO, DANIELLE STAUB, gossip, jacqueline laurita, TERESA GIUDICE, the real housewives of new jersey, whore

The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Typical Family Christening Food, Dancing, Drink And The Usual Big Ass Brawl 'When Christenings Go Wrong!'

The hell with all the other House Skanks, they can all fall off the end of the earth and rot! BECAUSE THE NJ SKANKS ARE BACK!!!! And they didn’t even need Joker Face because there is enough drama in Teresa’s family to make everyone glad they’re not related to any of these savages.

After watching this first episode, I felt like my ass had to go to confession because this was some fucked up shit that I shouldn’t be watching and on top of that enjoying and my ass doesn’t go to confession. As a matter of fact I haven’t been to confession, since that one time they kicked me out of mass because I bursted into flames and they told to never come back to church again. EVER.

We open the episode with Teresa and husband Barney Devito plus their little daughters arriving at a Teresa and Barney’s nephew’s Christening who happens to be Melissa and Joe Gorga’s youngest son. Joe Gorga is Teresa Giudice’s younger brother who also happens to hate her and thinks she is ‘gaw–baige‘. And it all seems to stem from Teresa and Melissa hating and competing on each other.

Meet Melisa Gorga, married to Teresa’s little brother Joe Gorga. Melissa is just like the God Mother Caroline said another Teresa! Spoiled, obnoxious, stuck up, loud, living in a Cathedral made of marble and questionable money with 2.5 kids all complete with the Neanderthal husband with low forehead who looks like he has no problem ‘slapping his bitch down’ if she questions why he came home with lipstick on his pants, reeking of ass and feels cleaning is ‘women’s work’ like he instructed his young impressionable son.

It seems that Bravo keeps finding crazy bitches that are more ridiculous than the last one we clowned on. And so far Melissa Gorga makes Camille Grammer seem like a nice lady. Plus Melissa’s creepy ass, violent scary husband makes Barney Devito look like a nice guy. Bizarro!

Teresa and Barney arrive at the party, which is already in full swing in all it’s tacky Guido glory, crawling with gangs of hairy, loud, drunken-men with open silk, reject-porn-star, shirts and huge gold chains. All the bitches are dressed like casino prostitutes, with twenty-pound hair that can be dangerous and combustible from the gallons of super-hold AquaNet in it.

The decorations include, unnecessarily huge sculptures of crosses, pricey paintings of the baby, and there’s food galore. The alcohol bar is flowing freely through the party resulting in everyone being drunk off their ass. Teresa’s brother appears to have already been drinking for a while that day, plus possibly snorted some coke because the fucker is hostile and ready to fight.

Teresa and Barney appear to be uncomfortable and walking on eggshells when they enter this party and Barney doesn’t want to be there. Teresa asks Barney if his stomach is feeling okay and he answers something with a gibberish mumble.

Joe Gorga is at the popular kids table with Melissa next to him as prom queen. He is surrounded by his posse and he is pounding the hooch non-stop, and loudly preaching some drunken spewage about how his kids are his ‘world’.

Teresa is sitting at another table with Barney Devito and tells him she is going over to say ‘hello’ to her family. You can tell that bitch is nervous and even though she is trying to be nice by saying ‘hello’ to her brother who is by now at his peak of being super lit, he crushes her and disses that bitch in front of everybody and their grandma including his niece little Gia, when his crazy ass flips out on Teresa and calls her ‘garbage’. Barney Devito jumps on his ass, and a big ass brawl breaks out.

We go back to one week earlier. Barney Devito no longer works in the e-jem, ‘construction businesses’. He is now working in a pizza parlor and miraculously him and Teresa can still afford the gaudy seventeen bedroom mansion.

Teresa says during her camera interview that her and Barney Devito just went through a bankruptcy. More like they are still going through it. That’s why they have Barney Devito working twenty seven hours a day and Barney complains about it. But, Teresa thanks God, because her ass doesn’t want to have to move to one of those ‘linoleum floor suites’ above the pizza parlor . So she is ‘pounding the pavement’ and whoring her Skinny Italian book because ‘mama has to bring home the bacon.’

The pizzeria is packed and Teresa seems to be having a book signing there that very night. She is very happy that people are bringing her crosses and all kinds of religious items to help her get through her bankruptcy. And also keep the vampires away. Jacqueline says that while Teresa’s family sucks and they don’t support her she is there to support Teresa and so is Caroline.

Caroline’s son’s Albie and Christopha’ have leased a nice chick-magnet, party-pad, with a great view of the water in Hoboken. Now I am not from the East coast, but my guess is that a nice place like this one costs around 3k. So I bet that mom and pop are footing the bill. Caroline is still having a hard time cutting the cord and when she finds out her youngest son is also moving out she says is a stab in her heart, plus she is bummed that she started out with three children at home and now she has only one left and that one doesn’t even count! Lauren looks pissed.

Speaking of children trying to move out of their parents’ house. We learn that professional weave-puller Ashley has now gotten a job at a PR agency for some crazy, seventy- pound, crack-head looking woman who looks like she has been up all nigh on meth-binges for the past six months with no sleep.

This scary scare-crow is none other than Lizzie Grubman. Who back in July of 2001, drove her Mercedes SUV into a crowd of people outside a nightclub at the Hamptons, after yelling “Fuck you, white trash”. How did this skank avoid going to prison? I don’t know!

Turns out Ashley is a un-paid slave (Lizzie needs every dollar she can get to buy that meth that’s shit costs money!), and free advertising on this trashy show for this lovely lady who more than likely asked Ashley to bring her NJ House Skank mom with the camera crew in-tow. Ashley is obviously overdressed for her unpaid slave job, she is wearing some hooker stilettos and I am surprised she doesn’t fall on her ass.

The most bizarre thing happens when Lizzie starts talking to Jacqueline about how Ashley is doing in her job. The whole thing emulates a teacher talking to the parent about the child’s grades during parent teacher night. Lizzie complains to Jacqueline about how Ashley is lazy and she hardly ever shows up to work.

Ashley comes up with lame excuses about not having bus fair and expecting her mom and dad to pay for that shit. Stupid Ashley gets all pissed and whinny when her mom tells her to grow up and get a job. Then she storms off into another room to cry while Lizzie goes to comfort her. Lizzie continues kissing ass to Ashley to get herself more camera time and makes a comparison of herself and Ashley. She tells her ‘I swear, you’re like are a carbon copy of me… without the, you know violence’. Well I guess I must be stupid because running over people with an SUV must not count as violence.

It’s funny how Ashley blows up at her spineless mom, but when that tweeker bitch initiated the whole thing by telling Jacqueline how lazy Ashley is, she didn’t even blink at her over it.

The whole thing is very awkward. Jacqueline is upset that Ashley ran off to cry and didn’t want to talk like an adult. But not even ten minutes later Jacqueline runs off when Chris is lecturing Ashley and he interrupts Jacqueline so she throws a tantrum also. I wonder were Ashley learned to throw tantrums like that?

Teresa and Jacqueline hang out together and take their children out for a play date at some park. Teresa confides to Jacqueline how her relationship with her younger brother Joe deteriorated after he got married to Melissa. Teresa says that before Melissa came in the picture Teresa and her brother used to be real close and when Joe married Melissa Teresa was hoping her and Melissa would become sisters.

But, Melissa blew her off since she has sisters of her own, who are older than her and are a mixture of Patty and Selma from the Simpsons and the evil stepsisters in Cinderella. Damn those bitches are vicious! They also happen to hate Teresa. Melissa seems to find blame on Teresa for anything stupid including bitching about making a lame excuse to not attend Teresa’s book signing because she wasn’t invited. All these people are petty!

Teresa insist that she had no idea her and Barney Devito were going through bankruptcy until he told her ass she couldn’t shop at Chanel but instead had to shop at the dollar store. ‘Conservative’ Teresa can’t throw the big wasteful parties anymore and with Barney Devito working at the pizzeria for minimum wage it must be hard to afford it.

Next Melissa drives her SUV and brags about her plush life that we all wish we had . She blabs out in a stuck up tone: ‘I tend to be very spoiled, so what?’ . When these bitches brag they curse their own faux-life styles. Real old money doesn’t brag. But these bitches are wanting to rub it in your face every five seconds. That’s why their shit gets foreclosed and bankruptcies exposed. So Melissa doesn’t realize it yet but she just cursed her own shit, by bragging like that on TV. She better get ready for the public bankruptcy and foreclosure circus that will be landing on her house next.

After that brief little introduction we see a gross scene where Melissa calls her husband the other Joe and asks him to lotion up her toes and then he ends up french kissing them. Then he wants to lotion her ass on national TV. Maybe they’re willing to compete with Tamra’s nasty bathtub scene. After that disgusting scene that I dind’t need to see Melissa brags about her domestic bliss.

Five minutes later her husband bitches her out for giving the children baths but not him. He nags her for ignoring him. So much for being a ‘whore in the bedroom’.

Melissa also makes sure we know she is the queen winner of the competition between her and Teresa of the tacky mansions because hers is 15,000 square foot, and way more tackier. Melissa’s husband surprised her with the blue prints of this fan-tacky-lar castle and since he is a very successful developer, in the booming real state economy that for some mysterious reason is only booming for these people in NJ. He was able to spare no expense for this monster mansion.

Melissa praises her husband’s work ‘ethnic’ and we all get to see him using his wonderful work ‘ethnic’ when he yells at the workers transporting the heavy flower planters.

Then Psycho Joe calls his wife his ‘ hero’. But two seconds later in another scene, when Melissa instructs her son to help her clean up, Psycho Joe tells the boy to go play football with him instead, because he doesn’t have to help his mom clean up because ‘that’s for the women’. Lovely.

Melissa just sits there and doesn’t say anything to Psycho Joe about that little cave-man comment. Melissa also has the tendency to constantly thank ‘Jesus’ for this and that. She’s gotta be the Guido version of Alexis Bellino.

Next we get introduced to Kathy who is coming over to Melissa’s for lunch . She is Psycho Joe and Teresa’s cousin. Psycho Joe and Teresa’s father is Kathy’s mother’s brother. And Kathy is also in bad terms with Teresa. Right when they all sit to have lunch the conversation turns to Teresa. Psycho Joe complains and moans about Teresa choosing a new fake TV family called ‘Caroline and Jacqueline’. Kathy says she can’t believe Teresa acts like nothing happened with all that 11 million dollar bankruptcy scandal and she states that if she was Teresa she would be too embarrassed to leave the house. That’s fucked up but true!

Melissa and Joe apparently are very resentful because even when they were invited to the Teresa and Barney Devito events they were supposedly ignored.

We get to see more of Kathy and her life. We learn that she is married to a non-Italian. She has two children one who likes to play with knives in bed. And she likes to go shopping on her beach cruiser while drunk off her ass she also enjoys landing on her face when the groceries tip her bike over.

Of course Kathy does her part in pushing the ‘family first’ campaing against Teresa and she says something so stupid is funny about how families fights and how her and her sister fought the other day and she may of even pulled her sister’s hair and later they made up by having dinner together. Kathy tells it so cute so is not even an issue. The way she explains it makes it so okay for families to get into nasty ass fists fights while the children witness it, but it’s all okay because they are family so being in a domestic violence situation is perfectly acceptable because they are family and Kathy explains it so cute so it’s okay.

And now let’s check in with the Manzo clan who are preparing their version of a Southern meal complete with burned biscuits and chili. Christopher is practicing ‘Cajun’ gibberish. He must love King Of The Hill. The whole Manzo clan is having a good time and they are all pitching in to cook a nice Southern meal. Caroline thinks no one in the world knows how to make pasta. Some people grew up surfing, eating tacos and making pasta tortillas. She’ll be surprised what’s out there. But it’s nice to see they are trying to expand their horizons by cooking non-Italian. Christopher says he wants to be Southern really bad because they are better at everything. The God-Mother demands of her eldest son to watch her baby when they move out.

It’s nice to watch people interact joking and without drama, for a change. But anyways enough of the happy crappy family stuff although it is nice, it gets boring after a minute or two, I wanna see the bitch slapping circus of crazy . If I wanna see happy and non-eventful I will just hang out with my husband, my daughter and my cat on Sunday and cook Lasagna-Enchiladas. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be Mexican-Italian.

So let’s jump right onto the crazy and it all begins at Melissa’s mansion. It’s early morning and Psycho Joe is already drinking.Who knows how many lines of coke he did too while the cameras where not around. Melissa and her evil sisters are also already sipping on champagne before going to the church. Her sisters specially Lysa have that look in their eye like they are hoping and ready for a fight with Teresa.

Meanwhile in the other tacky mansion Teresa is getting ready, her children are running around screaming and crying. Little baby Adrianna tries her luck at running away from home and away from her crazy relatives. She was planning to run as far away as she can all the way to Southern California, lose the NJ accent, and become a surfer girl. She almost succeeds but when she gets to the top of the grand staircase she damn near takes a dive. But the make-up artist Daniel, ruined her plans to run off.

Teresa is bitching and whining that her hair and makeup girl she’s been using forever, is over at none others but Melissa’s house. But isn’t this guy Daniel over here also doing hair, can’t he do her hair? Wait here’s a concept why can’t she do her own damn hair! I don’t understand, maybe Teresa doesn’t know how to use a curling iron or maybe only the other hairstylist that Melissa kidnapped is the only one that can deal with Teresa’s King Kong hair when it’s not combed. I don’t know.

The Gorgas as well as the Giudice’s are always at each other’s throat’s constantly and suspicious of each other even over the most trivial, insignificant things that would be unnoticeable to other people. Barney Devito becomes suspicious immediately that Melissa may be holding the hair and makeup girl hostage, to prevent her from showing up at Teresa’s house on time therefore making Teresa late for the Christening.

Camera switch over to Melissa, who is holding up the hair and makeup girl longer by forcing her to shower her 40 pound curls, in 250 gallons extra of Aqua Net super-hold. Teresa should of just showed up to that party with a lighter and the minute Melissa and her sisters Bertha and Brunhilda started with their shit, she should of just lit those bitches up and they would of gone up in flames like a Roman candle. Little Psycho Joe would of gotten hurt too, sitting in such close proximity to his wife, and with all the barrels of alcohol he consumed that night his ass would of just exploded. Teresa then could of just sat there looking dumb like she always does, acting like she had no idea what just happened.

Gia is going to her gymnastics competition and missing the Christening because if she misses practice she will be kicked out. Barney Devito is walking around scaring everybody with no shirt on. Gia tells him to put a shirt on! YEAH PUT A SHIRT ON QUIT SHOWING OFF FOR THE GYMNASTICS INSTRUCTOR!

Teresa sees this as an opportunity to pimp him out to the gymnastics instructor and yells ‘come on juicy Joe show us your muscles!’. Yep, that bitch is trying to make a buck any way she can. That mansion it’s expensive! At least she is learning ‘work ethnic’. In your face Melissa!

Barney Devito finally puts a shirt on because the gymnastics instructor left. Thank God!

The hair and makeup girl finally shows up and Teresa chews her out for not leaving Melissa’s house earlier. The hair and makeup girl says there was no way she could escape. But surprisingly this one doesn’t tell Teresa all the shit she heard while helping Melissa and the whale sisters get ready. Because ya’ all know damn well she heard a lot of shit!

Barney Devito is walking around in a dirty Walmart shirt and hanging around the garage. He also claims he has the explosive chorro and can’t make it to the Christening. Or so he says. Teresa is starting to feel sick and believes she caught the Hershey Squirt explosives from Barney Devito, and when she gets the runs is no joke. So all these shenanigans were going on and whether real or imagined these difficulties were preventing the Giudices to get to the Christening on time.

Barney Devito decides to stay home with the runs, and asks Teresa to pick him up later to go to the reception. Teresa agrees because she doesn’t want Barney Devito to accidentally shart at the church.

While Alexis I mean Melissa, is driving to the church with her children. She says something so disturbing in so many levels when she asks the baby if he is ‘ready to go to Jesus’ Kingdom.’ That sounds not right in so many ways and twisted on so many levels.

The subject turns to Psycho Joe and Teresa’s dad who is having heart problems. Melissa says that her husband hates Barney Devito for stealing his daddy from him. According to Psycho Joe’s claims, Barney Devito hangs around Psycho Joe’s dad all day and drinks with him, then he puts negative shit in grandpa Gorga’s head about Psycho Joe being a bad son because he is at work all the time. And Psycho Joe is hurt that Barney Devito stole his father from him because he ‘wants his father’. WHAT THE FUCK IS HE FIVE? THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE!

It sounds to me like these people just look for stupid things to nitpick at, and then blow them out of proportion! I’m sure grandpa Gorga knows that Psycho Joe has to work all the time and collect all the insurance money from the local businesses, while his thugs beat up the dead-beats that don’t pay on time. Psycho Joe should just be glad that Barney Devito is there for his dad getting drunk with him and watching Southpark. Let it go!. BUT NO! This goes deeper than this here and it’s all for the wrong petty reasons. On both sides I’m sure.

Melissa is also very pissed that Teresa and her family are not at the church. But, if she would have being there on time, I am sure the brawl would have started at the church in front of God and everybody. So she should be thanking Jesus the brawl took place at ‘The Manor’ and not at the church.

Teresa misses the Christening gets to the church late, walks right to her brother and says ‘congratulations’ then kisses the baby. Melissa continues to gripe about Teresa not being to the church on time and says that she doesn’t know if she showed up before the Christening or after. However, she is on time for the reception.

Melissa says she is not surprised Teresa missed the Christening, but not the reception because “That bitch will never miss a party, especially when someone else is paying.” That’s how Melissa and Psycho Joe knew for sure that Teresa would be at the party because she can’t resist the temptation and allure of a free party and once they trap Teresa at the party they can all corner her wail on her gang bang style Barney Devito too . It’s the perfect plan. Melissa even attacks little Gia for not ditching her gymnastics practice to go to the Christening. All in the name of ‘family first’. This is how this gang rolls.

We get to see a clip of Psycho Joe and Melissa plus all their children enter the reception hall. Psycho Joe advices Melissa to cause ‘no drama’. That is so ironic coming from his ass because of what takes place next.

The party is going on and Melissa is bragging about how she spared ‘no expense’. Once again we get to see all the crosses and lavish tapestry of tackiness that even the cakes have crosses. Looks like money can’t buy you good taste either. At least if a Vampire decides to crash this party they will all be protected.

Oh yeah and both Melissa and Teresa remind us of how they have another competition going over who throws the most lavish parties and who had more guest. Teresa claims over 200 guest at Adrianna’s Christening Quinceanera last season. Which is 50 more than Melissa is claiming. These bitches have to keep obsessive tabs on this type of petty shit. It’s important to them.

Teresa arrives at the reception dragging Barney Devito with her. Meanwhile inside the banquet hall Melissa and her sisters continue their shit-talking campaign on attacking Teresa and Barney. Melissa’s sisters assumptions are right on spot though about how Barney didn’t want to show up and Teresa had to go back and drag him with her. I wonder if Teresa was also confiding this info to the evil sisters or did someone else leaked it?

When the Giudice’s arrive it turns up the tension. Psycho Joe, Melissa and apparently everyone else in that clan have already prepared the wooden cross and nails needed when Teresa and Barney Devito show up because nothing those fucktards can do is right.

Psycho Joe offers Barney Devito a drink, but Barney Devito turns it down due to his stomach issues which he explains. Psycho Joe is of course quick to jump the gun and since everything Barney Devito does in his eyes is the wrong thing, he gets a boner because this gives Psycho Joe another excuse to start a fists fight with Barney Devito in the near future. Psycho Joe is happy to have something this awesome to look forward to; like a normal psychopath in his situation would.

But, for now the shit-storm of crazy is just forming and simmering waiting to boil over. And that won’t take long because Psycho Joe is pounding those shots of hard liquor that are helping him get there quicker.

Kathy and her husband also have issues with Teresa and even little Adrianna doesn’t like to be held by her uncle Rich. Teresa accuses Rich of being nosy and telling her not to spend her husband’s blood cash on national TV. Poor Rich was just trying to be a nice guy and help her, but Teresa didn’t want to listen to him and told him to blow it out his ass instead. And now she is 11 million dollars in bankruptcy debt.

Seventy five percent of the time these people where at this party, partying, all they did was talk about Teresa and Barney Devito.

Kathy’s husband Rich tried to talk Psycho Joe into making up with his sister the best way he knew how and it took a lot of skill and walking around egg shells to not make Psycho Joe blow up. But Psycho Joe was leaning more towards keeping the grudge going and grinding the ax more, so he wasn’t listening to Rich.

Psycho Joe explains during his camera interview how he can’t stand his sister and her drunken husband who doesn’t work, and blah, blah, blah, plus all the same tired spewage that Melissa was bitching about earlier. Psycho Joe also brings up how Teresa doesn’t include him and his wife in events and is competitive with his wife. All this petty shit.

Psycho Joe tries to convince us in his most psychopathic tone, how even though he wishes to bury his sister and her husband alive and put them to sleep with the fishes he cannot ignore the children. We learn that Psycho Joe became God-Father to Gia back when him and Teresa were in good terms. When Gia shows up to say hello to her uncle Psycho Joe, he assures her he loves her and she could never do any wrong in his eyes and he also reminds her that he would never do anything to hurt her.

The Gorga’s and their whole table which includes Melissa’s sister Lysa and her husband also name Joe, (I CAN’T KEEP UP WITH ALL THESE JOE’S) plus Kathy and her husband Rich spend their whole dinner continuing their endless obsession over Teresa and Barney Devito.

These fuckers have been drinking so much, their table looks like the dinning table at a college frat house after a Friday night. Psycho Joe tells Melissa he used to yell at her and beat her ass for not getting along with his family, but now she is allowed to react like a fuck-nut as much as she wants. He is allowing it. When everyone at his table tries to tell Psycho Joe to eat something because he is getting all excited he snaps ‘I’m talking!’. He is a loose cannon with a hair trigger. Plus that coke doesn’t help either.

Psycho Joe keeps rehashing and talking about Teresa and Barney Devito and so his tension build up and he enjoys it. Plus he is getting himself all pumped up, waiting, hoping and praying for a flying fists confrontation with Teresa and Barney Devito. So anything, and I mean ANYTHING either of them says to him can be used against them to start a brawl and unfortunately Teresa makes the mistake of walking over to their table and say ‘ hello’ and ‘congratulations’ to Psycho Joe and Melissa again. Which to a normal person it wouldn’t be an issue.

But since Melissa and Psycho Joe are not normal people, but rather talented people they both are able to somehow use their awesome talents to somehow turn the word “Congratulations” into fighting words.

After Teresa congratulates them Melissa accuses her sister-in-law of not congratulating them earlier at the church. Even though we all saw it and have footage! Psycho Joe sees this as his cue to blow up, and tells Teresa to walk the ‘fuck away you gaw-baige!”.

I bet Psycho Joe and Melissa’s evil sister Lysa, were the ones that snorted most of the cocaine they all did in the bathroom before the reception because that bitch was all happy when it was her turn to jump in and start attacking Teresa, when Teresa questions Psycho Joe’s reasons for inviting her and Barney Devito if he hates them so much. Lysa is lit and her eyes are popping out she jumps in and says with a malicious smile ‘IT WAS A TECHNICALITY!”

Teresa is shocked that Lysa is backstabbing her like this, when she has talked smack about her own sister Melissa when Teresa called her up to complain. And I bet Melissa was listening on the phone when Teresa was complaining and talking shit about her to her sister on the phone. That bitch Melissa and her sisters seem twisted like that. Watch how riled up and foaming at the mouth she is when she is screaming at Teresa ‘ONE SIDE DONT GET IT TWISTED! ONE SIDE!’ She has that vicious smile and her eyes are popping out. Mixing coke with all kinds of alcohol will do that. Same with Psycho Joe he is foaming at the mouth too. He just wants to punch Teresa.

Not even a full twenty minutes has passed and Gia’s loving uncle who promised Gia to never hurt her is foaming at the mouth pounding at the table about to flip it over, (it must run in that family) and calling her mother ‘gaw-baige!’ Totally scaring the fuck out of poor Gia who is crying and horrified trying to pull her mom away from her coked out drunken Psycho uncle Joe. I bet this little girl is gonna be telling a psychiatrist this in the near future.

Psycho Joe is going off on Teresa who surprisingly walks away while he is yelling and losing his shit over nothing. Barney Devito has been standing there the whole time witnessing his brother-in-law calling his wife ‘gaw-baige!’, so he deals with it the best way he knows how by running towards Psycho Joe yelling ‘ You’se sons of bitches!’ ready to tear Psycho Joe’s head off.

Barney Devito and Joe get pulled away from each other by the crowd of men and they don’t get to fight each other. But the brawl continues and by now coked out Psycho Joe is more pissed off and craving for a fist fight that even when his own wife Melissa is in the line of fire he just knocks her out of the way, with no concern, just like a true gangsta. And the bitch doesn’t act surprised because this must be a normal reaction from her husband in her household and also in social events.

The camera men gets knocked to the ground and you can hear Psycho Joe yelling ‘ I’ll fucking kill every one of yous!” and Melissa is yelling GET THE GUN GET THE GUN! Damn if that don’t remind me like some Quinceaneras in my old neighborhood same shit happened there. Suddenly and for no reason everyone jumps on some guy in a blue shirt who is getting beat up and you can see Melissa yelling and going chola all fighting and kicking all crazy and shit. Surprisingly Melissa doesn’t disclose whose ass they were all gang jumping on. So, I believe there is more to this little piece of footage that we will find out about later.

And it gets even better. Grandpa Gorga ends up damn near collapsing from the excitement that these orangutans caused and Psycho Joe gives the performance of his lifetime when he puts on his tiara and gown and cries to his papa about how he is jealous his dad hangs around Barney Devito all day.

For a minute everyone hated Teresa’s wild outburst and ignorant comments. Except for maybe me because I enjoyed how she chased after Joker Face like a mad cave-woman during hunting season, but then again I’m a sick puppy.

However, after seeing her drunken-ass, psycho, drama-queen, brother, waive his arms around and pound on the table like an ape with rabies, people are starting to understand why that bitch is so crazy. I even felt sorry for her and Barney Devito because the Gorgas topped them in the ghetto department and I enjoyed every sick second of it, of course. Except the part with kids crying that wasn’t cool. The whole thing was like a bad acid trip going insane. I’m surprised nobody got shot and the cops didn’t show up.

Filed under: albert manzo, albie manzo, Barney Devito, camille grammer, CAROLINE MANZO, chris manzo, chrisptopher manzo, cuntmille grammer, DANIELLE STAUB, Drink And The Usual Big Ass Brawl, dui, jacqueline laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Joker Face, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, tamra barney eddie judge bath tub scene undedited version, TERESA GIUDICE, The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Typical Family Christening Food, camille grammer, CAROLINE MANZO, Dancing, Drink And The Usual Big Ass Brawl, gossip, jacqueline laurita, Joker Face, recaps, TERESA GIUDICE, The Brownstone, the real housewives of new jersey, The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Typical Family Christening Food

Danielle Staub Aka Joker Face Becomes Born Again Stripper Decides To Quit And Seeks Mental Help Then Gets Sued All In Less Than A Week

Just on Tuesday this  week TMZ posted some scary ass pictures of Joker Face looking like the Grinch, in her new position as 50-year-old, pruny ass stripper, who is desperate to make a buck. The Gentelmans Club Scores surprisingly gave this trick a 3 year contract to do one live appearances during ‘Dried up old and scary skank Tuesday nights’  plus  occasionally appear on ScoresLive.com. Joker Face was so proud of her new job she was the one that who send the pictures to TMZ.

But the next day on Wednesday.  Innocent victim Joker Face stated that she was ‘coaxed’ to sign the contract and decided she didn’t want to be a stripper anymore, then she told Scores to fuck off and announced she was getting psychological help for her mental problems. The famewhore desperate for attention and an interview told People.com:

“I have addictions with love and low self-esteem, and I need help!” Staub, 48, says after photos of her dancing nude at Scores in New York appeared on the Internet.

“My low self-esteem derived from childhood sexual abuse has messed with my mind and self-worth, and over the years I thought about getting help but pushed it deep into the depths of denial,” she says. “For years I have had the suicide hotline on my cell phone and would like nothing more than to free myself from this constant pressure.

“Seeing how I have hurt myself and my family this time,” she continues, “I can no longer push it behind me.” 

Staub says she was “coaxed” into signing the appearance with Scores by her past handlers, but adds, “I have to own my mistakes and can’t blame others.” She says she has since “walked away” from the deal. 

Move to earlier today and TMZ announced that Scores is now  suing  that bitch because after a  raunchy photo shoot she punked them out of 25k  and bailed out, so now Scores is suing her for a 375k breach of contract. From TMZ:

According to the lawsuit — filed in April — Danielle got $25,000 to appear in a full nude strip video back in November … the same video TMZ posted stills from earlier this week.

According to the suit, it was all part of an exclusive 3-year contract — which also required the “Real Housewives of New Jersey” star to do voice work … and even appear in a live video chat session on ScoresLive.com.

But Danielle allegedly bailed on their deal out of nowhere … cutting off all contact with Scores after shooting the video — and now, the company is suing her for $375,000 … claiming breach of contract

Aww Joker Face. The famewhoring desperate stunts you pull when the new season begins and you’re not in it.

Thanks 808wave for the link!

Filed under: DANIELLE STAUB, danielle staub stripping, Joker Face, Real Housewives of New Jersey, DANIELLE STAUB, danielle staub stripping, gossip, Joker Face, the real housewives of new jersey, whore

Joker Face's New Spin Off Reality TV Show And More On Teresa Giudice Bankruptcy Ordeal

 

According to The HollywoodLife Joker Face will now be starring in a train wreckage circus of her own. Her prostitution fame -whoring dreams will soon come true.

 Joker Face  a source told The HollywoodLife :

“VH1 has picked up her show and they are almost done with negotiations,.. .They haven’t started filming yet, but they will soon!”

And even though Joker Face likes to arm herself with thugs, ex-cons, Hells Angels and have her Chihuahua’s on crack bark at people some evil fucked up shit and threatened to kick people’s asses at fund raisers . Plus all kinds of other violent fucked up shenanigans . She is now, for some reason singing songs against domestic violence.

Click here for a video of Joker Face’s new domestic violence song . Where she plays the thing she plays best. ‘The Victim”

 

The lawyer for the Giudice’s is trying very hard to get Teresa and Barney Devito Giudice off the hook with the whole bankruptcy ordeal. But Roberta DeAngelis, the attorney in the U.S. Trustees Office, must watch the Real Housewives show because she is not taking any shit and states that those 2 turds should pay out their ass for these scandalous money scams.

Here is the original article by Radaronline:

Attorney James Kridel has his work cut out for him in trying to convince the bankruptcy court to grant the petition filed by his clients, The Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice and her husband Joe.

DOCUMENT: Read The Complaint Arguing Against Granting The Giudice Bankruptcy

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Roberta DeAngelis, the attorney in the U.S. Trustees Office who evaluated the Giudice filing, recommended that the court not grant their Chapter 7 petition.

 She alleged that the couple had fraudulently tried to hide assets.

“I am going to be sending a letter to the US Trustees Office because I would like to resolve with them their issue rather than have to try it,” attorney Kridel told RadarOnline.com.

“I’m not doing it out of desperation; I’m doing it in their [debtors and US Trustees] best interest. That’s the next step. But ultimately the ball is in their court.”

Kridel said he is going to try to convince the Trustee Office that they’d lose in a trial and that his clients “have been punished enough”.

“Instead of just looking at it as ‘Joe Giudice,’ it is a family and to deny a discharge in this case would destroy this family. Some of the family members are clearly not responsible for anything that occurred here.”

The Giudices’ attorney also argues that Joe didn’t intentionally omit assets from the petition.

Kridel said, ‘If you have a bank account that has zero in it, but you didn’t disclose it because you didn’t realize it was open, I don’t believe that to be a really egregious offense. The omissions made would not change the outcome of the case. Their discovery would not increase the value of the estate.

“To deny a discharge would be a very severe consequence and I don’t think it’s deserving.”

Whatever the court’s decision, the Giudices will still suffer, their legal rep claimed.

“They’re going to owe a significant amount of money, including any IRS debt,” he said. “Other than the personal property in the house they don’t really have any assets so they are going to start over again.

“If they don’t get a fresh start [with a discharge] it’s going to be almost impossible to get back up on their feet.”

 

 

 

Filed under: Barney Devito, DANIELLE STAUB, Joe Giudice, Joker Face, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Barney Devito, cheating, DANIELLE STAUB, Joker Face, TERESA GIUDICE, the real housewives of new jersey