I had a lot to say about these ridiculous Bitches this reunion was very long just like the last season which took like what, 6 years?
Gretchen wore a tired ass dress she worn before . The first portion of the reunion mostly focused on Tamra and Simon’s turbulent relationship. They show clips of Tamra bickering with Simon’s and Vicki saying that Simon is a controlling asshole they kept showing all the drama between Simon and Tamra including the night he got into it with Vicki and of course the part where Tamra tells her momma that she is heading towards divorce. And of course the last fugly fight of them in the limo; where Tamra wanted to push Simon out while the vehicle was moving. Alexis may wanna pay attention to this. Take notes Duck lips this may be you in 5 years.
Andy asked Tamra about the limo ride and Tamra tells him there was so much more than that. Tamra says that all the hate fighting started when they were at home and she felt bad for the camera men, who had to witness all of this first hand and she could tell the camera men where feeling uncomfortable filming. The camera men were probably thinking Simon was gonna beat her ass and they were gonna have to jump in or call the cops.
Tamra talks about how her breaking point was during New Years Eve when she went out with Simon and some friends. When suddenly Simon got mad at her about something stupid, that she don’t even remember what it was and his hostile anger came out. Some rumor was going around Facebook a while back that Simon smacked Tamra at this event and that a relative of hers had posted this on FB. Another blogger commented on this also but again this is just a rumor I am not confirming this.
If asshole Simon was abusing her to that level then good for her for leaving his psyco ass .That poor Bitch you can tell Simon was driving her nuts and watch Alexis face she has this look on her face while Tamra is talking like she can relate. It was her posture and mannerism when she is listening to Tamra I can’t explain it . It’s the vibe Alexis gives out like she can totally relate.
I am glad that Andy said the way Simon controls Tamra is a form of abuse; hopefully that stupid Alexis was listening because no woman deserves that type of treatment from a man, even Duck Lips. Pay attention Bitch!
Right away after that Andy puts the spot on Alexis and asks her about her marriage to Jimbo and it’s similarities to Tamra and Simons marriage.
Alexis stated that at first she thought their marriages where similar but then denies that Jimbo is controlling and says that him and her just banter on each other. Bitch please, that’s not banter. Bitch tries to pee on your leg and tell you its raining. Or you would of not let him tell you to lower your voice at the restaurant and you wanted to cry. But whatevs!
Tamra starts taking blame and says that she saw the change in Simon start 5 years ago. Gee I wonder if that’s when she let the Bravo cameras in her home. Tamra blames her marriage problems on the fact she got preggers with the last baby Sophia; and says that if she would of not gotten knocked up she would of left Simon’s controlling ass a long time ago. Wow! I hope that little girl don’t watch this episode when she gets older. Tamra should of really at least kept that one to herself.
We also saw more display of Tamra having her famous fake ass Novela cries with no tears. Bitch really reminds me of the Bitches on the Spanish Telenovelas my Latin momma used to watch . It was funny, you could tell those bitches were not crying at all and they were regularly really bad cheesey actresses, sometimes it looked as if those bitches wanted to start laughing when they were pretending they were crying and many of them had brown eyes and brown roots showing on their fake ass bleached hair.Tamra reminds me of those bitches so much! Watch sometimes when she cries and puts her hands on her face it looks as if she is laughing covering her face.
Maybe when they inject her eyes with embalming fluid that shit freezes her tear ducts so she cant cry tears anymore. And why is that Bitch wearing a circus tent?.She is never gonna find a rich douche bag like when Lauri found George if she is wearing shit like that.
They also showed a clip that was supposedly filmed after the end of the season where Tamra moved into her own mobile home and it so happens that while the cameras where there she was also served the divorce papers. What perfect scripting timing by Bravo!
After Tamra was served she jumped on the table and danced around saying ‘I’m a free Bitch!’
Andy brings up the accusation Gretchen threw at Tamra about her divorce being a publicity stunt and Tamra got pissed off and told that Bitch she was simply defending herself from Simon for accusing her of being a cheating ho’. Gretchen was high as a kite and had a weak comeback to Tamra saying some stupid shit about her being on 2 page spread on magazines and shit.
Gretchen then says to Tamra ‘For me I felt it was a publicity stunt because there was so much talking to the press’ You can see the moment when Gretchen realizes that taking Slimey’s advice of accusing Bitches of lame ass publicity stunt divorces just causes her to put her foot in her mouth.
More fake crying. Andy grills Tamra on the cheating accusations by Simon and Tamra says it’s because she was talking to an ex-boyfriend on the phone that contacted her after he saw her on the show. Andy then asks Gretchen if she thinks that Tamra got her Karma for last season accusing Gretchen for being a cheating ho’ when it’s possible Tamra was a cheating ho’ all along.
Gretchen gives some lame answer saying ‘It’s not about Karma …Karma to me is wishing ill on someone… ,’ What happen? What’s Karma? Duh?!Pendeja! Even dumb ass Lynne knows the definition of Karma. Damn this Bitch not only looks tore up, used up and sucked up this season; but also lost ass loads of brain cells necessary to store useful information . Meth is a hell of a drug!
All the Bitches laughed at Gretchen. Damn she looked stupid.
Lynne tries to say that her face transplant was more of a business decision since she is a designer of 99 cent plastic cuffs she makes with a glue gun. Lynne also tried to fool everybody into believing that Frank is not a con artist who swindle money out of people and that she is a tought strict parent and then fucks it up by saying that Alexa called her a Bitch because she is one. She forgot to ad Dumb before Bitch.
While Lynne kept desperatedly trying to convince everybody of these drug induced delusions, Vicki kept laughing at her, because she knows Lynne is full of dog shit. Lynne was also grilled for not grounding Alexa and said you can’t hit your children anymore. Tamra and the other ho’s told her everyone still does that shit but your not supposed to tell anybody. DUH!
Alexis got confronted on her transformation from ‘buttaface’ to ‘bigger buttaface’. She admits she’s had plastic spare parts inserted in her face including her famous circus church porn size boobies and daily formaldehyde injections in her mug to help her look young, but it looks like that shit don’t work. Pobrecita!
She forgot to mention that one time, when they did that operation to chop off her dick. Bitch also announced she is getting her bird honker fixed. She must of read all the blogs and the commenter’s making fun of her Gonzo nose. Andy also asked her what the deal is with her saying she is super Christian but is also absolutely vain and watch that Bitch stutter because she don’t even know how to answer that one.
Andy also brought up the fact that those Bitches don’t want to eat because they don’t want to shit. Gretchen don’t have that problem because she just needs a couple lines of meth to keep those pounds off.
Stupid Alexis tries to say that 60% of how you look is what you eat and blah blah blah. Doesn’t matter what she eats or what pig shit she injects in her bubble lips in order to keep hot and keep Jimbo; since he will leave her anyways either by finding a younger hotter blonde and dumping her skanky ass or when the feds finally arrest his ass for his shady binezz and he gets a new wife in prison , when either of these eventualities take place this Bitch better hope she can still be a Monet and hop on the pole.
Lynne says she thinks she looks fat. She doesn’t look fat just pregnant, I think the baby is gonna be a California Pale Ale! HA HA HA!
Then Andy went on to fuck with Alexis and told her that her man is a chauvinistic pig they show all the nauseating clips of Jimbo bossing her around like a dumb Bitch including the very popular seven carats episode and the lower your voice you’re talking too loud you stupid bitch episode but the Bitch just glazed over it and tried to lie about it saying some stupid shit about how they just banter at each other.
They showed the clip where Vicki calls Jimbo a ‘smelly dork!’and tranny ass was shooting her the Evil Eye. Vicki then starts getting all nervous and says ‘I don’t remember saying that?’ , Then she says some bogus shit about how she would never call anyone that and that maybe she was referring to her own shoes!
Bitch was shaking and stuttering her words like a 5 yr old trying to lie! BITCH PLEASE! Don’t these ho’s remember they are talking to a camera and everybody is gonna see this shit later? . Besides that asshole is a smelly ass fucking dork. He smells like striper raunchy ass and Cuban cigars . No one is buying their church act.
Vicki should of just admited she was calling that fucktard a ‘smelly dork’, and left it at that. But maybe Vicki is afraid to offend that asshole with all the ilegal shady binezz he runs maybe she is afraid he may send hired thugs to her house. I wouldn’t put it past that ‘smelly dork’.I’m disappointed in Hurricane Vicki.
She should of use those Hurricane powers on that fucktard and not let him scare her. I know the Bitch can take him and she can also take tranny ass Alexis I know Alexis used to have a dick but Vicki can take her too. I have faith in the power of the Hurricane that Bitch is crazy.
Did ya’ all see how Gretchen was defending Jimbo and saying he is not controlling of Alexis? Bitch just trying to move in on him while he has money since she’s running out of hers.
They also brought up the Devil wanting to hump big scary teeties and Alexis was getting excited. Alexis thinks God talks to her and she also says God is okay with her going under the knife she also admits people in her church are praying and fasting for her stupid ass .Those church people shouldn’t waste their prayer and fasting on this stupid ho’ and her husband because she is already letting the Devil hump her Circus teetie’s his name is Jimbo. So it’s too late for her.
Bitch complains about how everybody is mean to her on the show and that’s why those church folk pray for her and Vicki and Tamra pretty much tell her to get off the show if she feels she is being beat up because it is an ‘elective project”. No shit no one put a gun to this ho’s head so if she don’t like the beatings she just shouldn’t be on the show. Dumb Bitch! But, then again she is fun to clown on because she is such an easy ridiculous target.
After Andy calls Lynne a stoner. I like how Andy says ‘stoner!’. Lynne tries to lie and says she is not a stoner so Andy asks the other Bitches if they believe her. Did ya’ all see Lynne’s face nodding at Vicki and Tamra to say that they believe her stupid ass when we all can tell that ho’ is either baked, or popping pills plus drunk all the time.Lynne finally admitted she is a stoner.
Vicki tries to lie and say some shit like ‘I don’t know, you don’t seem like you would be a pot head or anything!’andTamra laughs her ass off chocking on her cheap bitch wine. I Knew it! They even show that episode where Duck lips had the chef come over to teach them how to make that dish that was rolled like a joint and Lynne’s comes out the tightest. Yeap the Bitch knows how to roll a mean joint!
They also showed Vickis wedding to Donn and all the bullshit about taking the high road and all those bitches are fucked up.
Then the classless trash comment that Vicki made on Alexis came up and Alexis was rambling her mouth bitching at Vicki for making that comment. Why does Alexi’s lick-smack her lips like she was coked out when she was rambling her platypus mouth? Alexis lips are so inflated they smack against each other like 2 flabby butt cheeks farting when she tries to talk .
Tamra and Vicki try to explain to Alexis that when she walks in the room she has an air of confidence to her. I think those Bitches got it confused with arrogance. Confidence is one thing and arrogance is another and that tranny Alexis is an arrogant bitch that acts like her shit taste like vanilla.
Tamra says that Vicki wanted everything to be dreamy this season and it got fucked up because Vicki wasn’t herself this season. Tamra then points to Alexis and says that Vicki should of head butted Alexis a long time ago and none of this ugly shit would of happened. I agree. And I also miss the old Vicki. Bring Hurricane Vicki back.
They also show all the clips with these broke ass bitches and their financial problems. We see Tamra and Simon getting ready for the trailer park because the house they built with credit cards got blown by the winds of the bad economy when Simon lost his job, we see Lynne and Frank getting evicted and becoming homeless because they’re con artist, we also see Gretchen and Slimey having a yard sale, but wait that Bitch ain’t suffering from no economy bullshit, she has a meth habit and she is running through the 2.5 millions that her sugar daddy left her so she had to have a yard sale.
She probably sold Jeff’s ashes by accident when she had the yard sale ’cause she was getting rid of all of Jeff’s shit that day anyways. Alexis looks worried but not because she has christian compassion for the broke ho’s but because she knows that if Jimbo gets busted by the feds and goes to prison she is next at the OC soup kitchen. The only one without those problems is Hurricane Vicki. But then again when she made that pact with the Devil he promised her she was never going to be broke. EVER!
Vicki pissed off Andy when she kept saying she works and she has a 7am till 8pm at night job. Andy said to her ‘ I GET IT!’. AWWWRRGH! I gotta say I have a 9 till 5 job too and I rather have an alternative job. Seriously! Vicki loves working. She loves it! She is a fucking work masochist, Bitch is crazy.
I do agree with Vicki when she tells Tamra that when youre in a ‘financial situation’ you have to go get a job,Tamra just sits there feeling all offended and says ‘How do you know I’m in a financial situation?’Bitch please! Everyone and their momma knows you’re in a financial situation when they saw you’re ass digging in the trash for cans!. Vicki also admits she likes money! What a Bitch!. Well me too! Amen sista! Tamra tells Andy she’s stripping. Bitch please! You’re giving $5 dollar bad economy hand job specials, to winos who pay you with their can money, sometimes with cans!
Then some boring shit with Jeana telling the Bitches she is plotting her revenge and will kill them all in their sleep. She also told Tamra to go back to Simon. I guess Jeana has battered woman syndrome from being married to her ex and probably still lives with him, so she thinks Simon’s abuse is normal. It’s funny how Tamra mentions that she never said anything bad about Simon being a horrible person. Sure Tamra!
Tamra told Jeana her mom’s pissed because Jeana insinuated Tamra is ‘white trash’.Then Jeana says to Tamra ‘are you?’ while Tamra was going ‘yeah, yeah,’ Jeana laughs and says I knew it! But we all knew that! Tamra’s mom’s just mad because she knows it’s true! See how Tamra unconciously admitted it? All the other ho’s laughed.
Gretchen laughs all loud at Tamra she sounded like a horse and her face looks like it’s 6 feet long! Damn that Bitch was high! Then Jeana and Vicki gang up on Tamra and laugh at her Tamra calls her a cow! ’cause she is! Then Andy kicked Jeana out because he had enough of her.
We also learned that Jimbo still thinks that a bikini and lingerie are 2 different things.
Why is Jimbo wearing a suit that a fucktard that hangs around strip clubs recruiting prostitutes would wear? Seriously does this queeve really think he looks suave in this getup? Stupid Alexis tried to lie and say that Jimbo changed his first number 2 poopie diaper of course she says it right after Jimbo doesn’t want to own up to the fact that he is a controlling moron and hasn’t learned ANYTHING! from this show.
And Frank looks like he went to the beauty school to get his haircut and some newbie fucked up his hair.
Andy asks Donn why he didn’t come to Vicki’s defense when Simon was talking shit about her but he didnt give it a straight answer. I still think Donn seems like a nice guy but I think he should of stuck up for his wife when she needed him to, if ya’ all notice when all the men where arguing with Vicki and she felt attacked she looks at Donn and wispers ‘help’.She shoulnd’t even have to do that, he should attact on instinct.
Frank admits he ‘screwed up’ and that he is not perfect but he wants to stay married to Lynne because he is a germaphobe. Thats a good thing! Frank also tells Andy that he is not a grifter! He also says that’s bullshit because if he had something to hide he would not be on national TV. Nah! I think he wouldn’t be on national TV the reason he is it’s only because of his wife Lynne who suffers from Attention Whore Personality Disorder and she needed to be on TV so desperately and put their business out there; which is probably why Alexa doesn’t even go to public school because she was embarrassed to show her face there. Yep, they’re grifters!
The best part of this whole shit fest was when Andy caught that shit head Slimey lying. Slimeballs was so high, his eyes were jumping out of his head his puplis where dialated and he was shaky. Yeap he’s methed out. He is so shady. When his parents named him where they thinking …lets name this kid the biggest douche bag name we can think of. SERIOUSLY! Did they want Slimey to become so,… Slimey? Andy asks Slimey from one of his selected emails from viewers if he is an opportunist and a media whore? Slimey is not even a good liar and tells Andy he had no desire to be on the show. Watch Tamra crack up. She peed herself laughing.
Then Gretchen says that Slimey didn’t want to be on the show but that the Bravo powers that be told her that Slimey had to be on the show because it is about what is going on in Gretchen’s life. So wait a minute? Last year when Jay was banging her and all the other Sancho’s on the side that were banging her ; while she was playing the role of the caring Mother Teresa /Hot fiancee caregiver to Jeff why didn’t they show that? They should of shown when she was having the door man install that revolving door she had so all of her Sancho’s could come in an out of Jeff’s house and they should of also filmed her steamy affair with Jay. I thought it was about what’s really going on in her life and at that time that was the shit fest that was going on.
Then stupid ass Slimey totally puts the foot in his big mouth when he mentions how his relationship with Gretchen started right after the end of season 2 which was right after Jeff died. Yeap. Andy busted him. Then stupid Slimey goes back and tries to change it, aww noo it was 7 months later, yeah after he just totally got busted you can see Slimey starting to sweat and he has this look on his face like oh shit, I just got busted!. If he wants to lie he needs to keep his fucking lies straight.
I guess him and Gretchen remember to rehearse the lie about him not wanting to be on the show but they forgot to rehearse the lie about how him and her started humping. I loved it how Andy then hit him with a baseball bat on the face and says‘there was not 7 months between the time of the reuning show and shooting this season’ And that stupid bimbo Gretchen makes this dumb ‘huh?’ look on her face yeah Bitch play dumb you and your boy toy just got busted! Good job Andy! Fucking Tamra and Vicki where cracking up laughing. Tamra was happy.
Stupid Slimey tries to rebutte with a lame comeback about how it was his decision to not be in the Housewives when Jo quit the show, Andy says something about how there was no place for Slimeball on the show since Jo was no longer a housewife, then Andy pretty much said what did you think you were a housewife and you could stay on the show after Jo was no longer a housewife. Fucktard what a lame comeback.
Then Andy moved on. You could tell he knew he wan that one. Slimey pissed him off. I am glad he put him in his place. But then there was more. You could tell Gretchen felt embarrased and stupid because she knew her and her VD infested boyfriend got busted for being liars and she was pissed about it too. I bet her and Slimey got into a big fight with each other after this reunion aired because of this shit .
Andy kept fucking with Slimeball he then pulls out another viewer email where Slimey is asked why he trying to manage Gretchen even thought he managed Jo’s no talent music career to the ground and now the bitch has to work as a bar-wench/prostitute at a bar Andy asks Slimey if he is gona do the same shit to Gretchen. We also found out that since it wasn’t enough that Gretchen is now dating Jo’s sloppy seconds she also had to go and buy Jo’s music, I bet Jo dind’t even know about this shit until this episode aired and now she is plotting to murder Gretchen.
Of course his Slimey ass will continue to deny it and fail at convincing Andy and the many viewers watching who can see through his bullshit,specially the bullshit part where he denies having butt sex with scary ass wax mummy Laurie who looks like she was dugged out of a coffin. Stupid Slimey I bet he was benge drinking when he was doing her.
When Andy loses his patience with Slimey and straight up asks him if he banged Laurie ‘you never had sex?’ And the mother fucker was like ‘wha? what’s that?’ BUSTED! AGAIN! However, I believe Slimey. I believe he never dated Laurie‘officially’ just like he said they never went out to dinner or dated she was just a bootie call since he can’t call porking her at the public restroom at the bowling alley dating ; or going to dinner is having her give him a blowjob in the back alley of the porn store.
So he was trying to be honest, I guess. We also learned Laurie is a weirdoe. But wait we knew that she beats Jill Zarin on being crazy and holding on to text messages she got from Slimey from a couple years ago. She still infatuated with him. Vicki said that Slimey was threatening Laurie when Laurie started dating George and Gretchen just laughs all loud like a hyena her big ass front buck teeth stick out makes me want to give her horse face a carrot or a sugar cube.
Stupid ass Jimbo sticks up for Slimey and we found out the Pope in the Vatican asked Vicki wtf is up with that douche bag Slade Slimey? He’s gross!. See even the Pope can’t stand that punk.
Tamra also says he’s a douche and he’s gross and Andy asks Slimeball if he would date Tamra now that she is single. Gross! Even horse face’s mother said she don’t like Slimeball for her daughter because he is a creep. Then Gretchen and Slimey hint that they getting married perhaps in the future.
Then of course we had to see the blow out between Vicki and the men. Andy brought up the whole trip to Florida ordeal. Andy asks Jimbo why the fuck he don’t let Alexis travel on her own. And Jimballs says some stupid shit about how they’ve seen it on this show how when the women travel there is a temptation and the women behave inapropiately .
So wait a minute if he thinks his wife is a monkey and can’t behave while he is not there to supervise her and the show ads to the temptation then WHY THE FUCK IS SHE DOING THIS SHOW THEN? Dumb Ass!
Tamra then tells us of the many temptations that are everywhere and how her smooth ass would act on her temptations while she supposedly went to the supermarket. Or at least that’s what she told Simon.
Slimey wants to pork Vicki next because he calls her Ficki . Vicki tells Slimey he is just as bad as a gossipi woman because he likes to pick fights with women while all the other men do not. Vicki also tells his ass to go on the ‘House Husbands Show’ and Slimey says he would but he was not invited.
Vicki pointed out how Slimey whores Gretchen out to the press because he always calls the paps. Of course Gretchen and Slimey flat out deny it. Vicki then says, Bitch please! Reality TV tools are not people the paps are going to follow around you called them.
Vicki then gets into it with Slimey and then of course Jimbo jumps in and starts to beat on Vicki because he says that Vicki talks about him and Duck Lips then Duck Lips jumps in and starts rambling on about how Vicki said mean things about them and since Duck Lips and Jimblob kept on pouncing on Vicki she decided to get up because she didnt want to do it anymore .
Of course she had to remind Donn to help her because Donn doesn’t even jump in throwing punches when he sees other people beating on Vicki’s ass. What the fuck’s wrong with him?
Since that Bitch Alexis is so perfect she points at Vicki from her high horse and tells her to ‘Be accountable and learn a lesson!’. Alexis doesn’t need to learn any lessons even if airing her life on this TV show backfires on her linebacker tranny ass. Oh wait it’s already starting to backfire; but there is no lesson there to be learned because Miss Church Whore is perfect.
Donn did finally jump in and finally told that tranny ass duck lipped ho’ her fucking story was long and boring. And Alexis said she felt that Vicki deserved to cry. Then Tamra decided she wanted to jump in for Vicki (since Simon is not there no more telling her to hate on Vicki) and so she goes to sleep a la Vicki and Donn style.
The Vickster did hint that she may be leaving the show because she says that the last 2 seasons have been hell for her and that these Bitches all ganged up on her this season and she would never EVER gang up on any one like they did to her this time at that moment look at Tamra’s face she has the WTF? look and so does Gretchen, because we all know how she would gang up on Gretchen and Lynne when they first came on specially at the race tracts . This season Vicki paid her Karmic debts and the collector of those debts was someone 1000 times even more repulsive and obnoxious than Vicki and her name is Alexis Bellino!
Here is some behind the scenes video of Vicki telling Andy he’s being mean to her.
Filed under: alexis bellino, blog roll, gossip, gretchen rossi, jeana keough, latest news, lauri peterson, lynne curtin, real housewives of orange county, tamra barney, vicki gunvalson, alexis bellino, gossip, gretchen rossi, lauri peterson, real housewives of orange county, tamra barney, vicki gunvalson