After Monica Chacon was thrown out of Melissa and Psycho Joe’s house; she stood outside waiting for Kim G, who said ‘goodbye and sucks to be you’ to Monica and made that bitch walk home in her stilettos, in the dark, with no ride. What a great friend she is, stays at the party her side-bitch just got kicked out from HOW NICE!. Kim felt it was better to stay because someone has to start shit and run her mouth and this is exactly what this hag did. How long is her Bravo audition going to go on for?
Teresa is happy and grateful that Melissa threw that skank out and decides to dance with her sister-in-law and Psycho Joe decides to get sandwiched in between the Nalgas of all his sisters-in-law plus some random transvestite bitches in there, so that he can corral them for the orgy he is having later where he will be wearing his best nightie with his high heel slippers.
Teresa tells Melissa that if they stick together they are unstoppable (yeah imagine all the fraud and scams they can commit?) and Kim G yells “for now!”. Suddenly Teresa hears this bitches sewer-banshee screeches  and realizes Kim G is still in the house  smirking like an asshole licking her shit stirring spoon and mocking Teresa because even though the lawyer skank got booted out Kim didn’t, so Kim makes sure she rubs it in Teresa’s face that she is still there. Teresa asks her bro and sil WTF? They tell her to chill because Kim is just a harmless senior citizen, but Tree knows better and tells them that Kim is a snake who will start all kinds of mad dog shit, but Psycho Joe and Mel decide to ignore that. Did they not watch the last season? Melissa says Teresa hates Kim G because they’re a lot alike so they are secretly sisters. Really? Are you sure you’re all not triplets from different decades?
And of course this time Teresa was right, Kim G is running a trail of diarrhea spewage about Melissa kicking Monica out to anyone that will listen and it appears Kathy and a circle of women are giving her audience, but all she gets is a bunch of dirty looks and frowns. Not too happy Lauren tells that bitch to quit stirring the witch brew because she is pathetic. The God Mother is keeping an eye on this lunatic like a watchdog and gets on her bitch slapping mode walks up to Kim Granny-Tell gets in that bitche’s face wagging her finger, to tell that bitch off and put her in her place. The God Mother tells that bitch to have respect for their son’s friendship and Kim G keeps smirking like the bitch she is, until she is told to get the fuck out by Christopher who is trying to stop the two grandma’s from going at it, so he gets in between them. Kim G’s bodyguard (who is like 70, 80?) stands there staring while gnats are flying around his face and Kim G yells SEEK SEEK!! But that doesn’t work on her elderly body guard (whom she picked up at the old-people-home she finds her free dates at) then his ass gets yelled at by The God Father (who is also ready to throw down) and tells him to FUCK OFF!
Chris tries to be cool about the whole deal and decides he is not going to let this shit-storm get more stormy so he talks to Kim Granny-Tell (like an adult which obviously SHE is NOT!) and tries to patch things up by kindly walking her outside. While he is outside chatting with Kim G Teresa and Barney Devito are waiting for the valet to bring their car and end up watching the whole spectacle realizing Kim G is getting kicked out of the party. Tree is glad she isn’t in this mess and tells her hubby she is going to ride his vibrator wearing sausage cock all night long while Kim G plays with her toys. EEEEWWWW!!! Thanks Tree now I need to wash my brain with acid to get rid of that image.
The God Mother freaks out because she doesn’t want her baby Christopher outside trying to reason with the Devil so she sends her “Golden Boy” to fetch him and finish taking out the “Gaw-bage”. Of course she is walking right behind Albie to make sure that old bitch leaves, The God Father is right behind her in case he has to send his thugs out to throw the security guard in the trash whom I’m sure took refuge in hiding under the car by now. Ashley is also right behind HOPING that she will have to go rip some old lady weave, but her mom drags her back in. The God Father calls Kim a “clown” and Ashley responds “just like Danielle!”.
Christopher seems to be handling the situation pretty well when Albie comes fling out like he’s ready to box Kim G and he commands Christopher to come back in. Like a little boy that got grounded and can’t play outside anymore, Christopher comes back inside and when Kim G tries to come back in Albie barks at her, BITCH YOU’RE NOT WELCOME, I’M SECURITY, YOU’RE NOT WELCOME, and Kim G asks him when did you become security? But Albie has a reply for everything and says SINCE LIKE TWO MINUTES AGO BITCH! LEAVE! And surprisingly she left! Teresa yells “ding dong the witch is dead!”.
Melissa thinks it’s strange that the Manzo’s were kicking someone out of her party. If it had been any other people she would of being pissed, BUT since this is the Manzo’s she is going to shut the fuck up and NOT bitch, but instead just tell her boys to take notes and do the same for mama when their ass is grown up. Well yeah! When her son’s are like twenty, she is still gonna be feeding them in the mouth with the apron strings attached, so them barking at bitches that start shit with their mama is expected.
After the fiasco the Manzo’s are all sitting around while Christopher expects a call from Johnny, Kim G’s son. Christopher is pissed off that he was handling the situation well, but his familia had to get all ugly and kick Kim G out and all this shit while he was trying to be respectful to his friend’s mother, despite the fact she is a crazy ass bitch. I feel bad for Christopher! The older Chris jumps in to give his opinion on Kim G and says that the bitch needs to be smacked and “all bets are off!” IT’S WAR! The phone rings and is Johnny on the other line they talk things out and all is well. I’m sure Kim G’s son knows how crazy his mom is no one has to explain it to him, that’s why he ran far away to college like he did to get away from her. However, that crazy bitch Kim G went to Rumorfix.com where she claims the cameras didn’t get the full drama she says that Albie shoved her and her son and Christopher got into a fight as a result of this shit and she seems to have an air of satisfaction that she ruined their friendship. Is this bitch mentally ill or just plain evil?
When the party is over and everyone leaves Psycho Joe has to show his respect to the God Father by kissing his ring (he better remember to ask him a favor on Lauren’s wedding day) then he thanks him for taking the “Gaw-bage” out of his house.
Melissa says the party was a success, even though they spend 50k on the party it was all for charity and worth it they were able to collect eight used toys amounting to less than ten dollars and some of them weren’t even toys, they were just things people found around the house and wrapped up. There’s going to be a cancer child opening up a can of Cheese Wiz on Christmas day.
Kathy is having her own Christmas party and her mom is there helping her prepare food and in familias Italianas the women go on a cooking marathon during Christmas eve while they talk shit about everybody and they don’t stop until they’re done. Kathy’s mom tells the story about how a hundred years ago her husband sold his business to her brother and he never finished paying so she didn’t speak to the brother for like another 70 years and one day she ran into him at the fish market and started crying because she was regretful. Sounds like keeping score has been around in this family for decades and now it has just mutated into a big circus that’s getting aired out on national TV. Their entertaining fights and brawls are no longer limited to the neighbors eyes, now the whole country can watch! AWESOME!
Caroline is giving advice on her radio show and people are calling in while she tells them to quit being pussies. Her brother Chris calls totally unexpected and unscripted by Bravo and asks advice on dealing with Assho-ley. And she tells him to put the smack down. No just kidding she tells him something stupid like he is doing a good job or some shit. I heard that right now Assho-ley is living in Texas with her other family because she got tarred, feathered and chased out of town by the Jersey folk.
I didn’t know Caroline’s brother is in town. Uh oh!! Is that Caroline?! Sorry! Caroline is cooking up a storm of her own, including her dad’s special ghetto I’m broke bitch sauce that he came up with when he was home-bound baked off his ass and broke. AHHH the recipes stoners come up with are the best!
Teresa’s daughters are all dolled up in the beautiful flower girl dresses she picked up cheap at the yard sale from My Big Fat Gyspy Wedding. The dress itself weights twice each little girl’s body weight and this weights them down if any of them think of running away. I’m looking at you Audriana!
The Gorga’s show up (Melissa had to drag Joe and bribe him with sex because he didn’t want to be there) and Melissa’s daughter is also sporting her own fifty pound dress. Fake Santa Claus show up and the girls are not fooled since they know it’s their grandma. Kids are so smart these days, with the Internet an’ all.
And speaking of Gypsy weddings and teenage brides Gia got a ring from a boy she doesn’t like, but she will take his rings and gifts. Barney Devito gets the shotgun ready as he and grandpa Gorga plan on negotiating an old fashioned shotgun Catskills wedding with a dowry for little Gia.
Uncle Psycho Joe comes over to tease Gia and tells her he is going to beat up her boyfriend and drunken Barney Devito gets all kinds of pissed because he believes Psycho Joe is ruining his evil genius plan of this marriage arraignment he is trying to coordinate in marrying Gia off to a rich family and get out of debt. So he decides to sit at the dinning table and trash talk Psycho Joe by calling him and his family “fucking animals” and calls Melissa “Raccoon face” and a “witch”. Yeah, this is really going to help things along with the Gorga/Giudice family feud.
Teresa and Melissa argue over whose outfit looks more like a two-dollar corner-whore. And Teresa tries to say she is embarrassed for Melissa showing her plastic cleavage (on Jesus’ 89th b-day) but Teresa is showing half butt-cheek. Turd meet the runs. Both of you are dressed like you have the SAME pimp! So shut the fuck up already!
Psycho Joe and Melissa do not stay for dinner, but instead head out to Kathy Wikipedia and her husband’s leaving a pissed off Teresa who had a place set for her brother and family the kids are pissed that they didn’t get to stay and play with their cousins. Poor kids! Right now they are too young to understand the so-called grown-ups immaturity!
Filed under: Ashley Holmes, CAROLINE MANZO, chris manzo, chrisptopher manzo, DANIELLE STAUB, gossip, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Joker Face, kathy wakile, Kim Granatell, Kim Granny Panties, Kim GrannyTell, Melissa Gorga, Real Housewives of New Jersey, TERESA GIUDICE, The Brownstone, Barney Devito, DANIELLE STAUB, dina manzo, gossip, jacqueline laurita, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Joker Face, Kim Granatell, Kim GrannyTell, Melissa Gorga, recaps, TERESA GIUDICE, The Brownstone, the real housewives of new jersey
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